I am Jordan Hansen, the father of a child
with Down syndrome, these were/are my personal thoughts. Enjoy.
Down syndrome,
right? What comes to mind when you hear those two words, Down syndrome. Curiosity?
Fear? Disgust? Repulsion possibly? Don’t feel bad if all of these have gone through
your mind. Just the word “Down” syndrome implies the essence of these things.
It’s hard! These people are everywhere, and at the same time, we just have not
spent enough time with them to literally get past what’s skin deep. It’s unfortunate
the doctor that named it used his own. From here on out I personally will be referring
to it as up syndrome, or maybe love syndrome, maybe happiness syndrome, or I
like pure joy syndrome. Seriously there are hundreds of other synonyms that
should come into one’s mind before the thoughts that do… just as they did in
mine for 25 years.
They are just rare
enough that curiosity about what they’re like, how they act, if they think, if
they communicate, if they share, do they speak, what do they say, how and what
they feel, what emotions go through their heart, and let’s face it, why their
eyes are like that, why are they a little shorter, do they notice me wanting to
look without staring? We are curious by nature, and normally haven’t been
taught, or spent enough time with them to get this out of our system, even if
they are as close as a nephew or niece sometimes. It’s a wonderful thing to be
curious! PLEASE! Ask questions, talk to us, share with us what you are
thinking, let us help you understand how amazing they can be. And most
importantly, talk to them! They are yearning for interaction, communication and
attention. Be careful, they may think of you as their best friend and even
possibly steal your heart with their love!
It may be hard to
talk to them, they’re different, you don’t know if you should talk to them like
an adult or a child. They however have the tendency to be shy. Just ask them what
their name is and how old they are, and then talk to them like any other person
with a name at the age they say they are. Nothing more, nothing less. They
mentally are that age believe it or not. After their early teen years, it’s
possible it slows, but believe me, they know how long they have been alive, and
the things they know they should be doing. It can be hard for them at times, it
can get frustrating, but it’s okay, do not be afraid, they want to talk about
those things!
Let’s face it, they do look different, but don’t
we all!? Who says that we aren't
the ones that look awkward. Heck, to us, in their minds they’re probably wondering why we all have such straight boring eyes, flat heads, and tiny frowning mouths. Don’t worry, unfortunately Joy syndrome is not contagious. Know that you won’t be hurt by shaking their hands, and that they won’t hurt you if you give them a hug. You’re not dealing with a silverback here. Now their smile on the other hand can rub off. It’s absolutely captivating if you stay around long enough to experience its shine
When you see
someone with Joy syndrome, (Sheesh I feel like I’m writing a brochure, it
should not feel like this everyone!) you may have to urge to just run the other
way as to avoid any awkward glances, thoughts, or heaven forbid conversations.
This again is natural due to the rarity of time spent in their presence. If you
only knew how full of joy, how much pure innocence they emit, your urge of repulsion
would be one of gravity! I know I’ve said it over and over, but seriously, if I
could just have every human being spend 10 minutes with my girl, I would dare say that every fear of who they
are would vanish from the mind of each of them. All she ever does is stare into
your eyes with thought, wonder and admiration. She claps for every
accomplishment you fulfill. She blows you more kisses than you could ever return.
And she will for sure help you in anything you need done, especially if the
task at hand is emptying your laundry hamper.
Curiosity, yes. Fear,
Im sure. Disgust, nope, Repulsion, never. They have many feelings too, in fact
more than we could ever imagine. For example, when they see you, the latter
emotions mentioned would have also been accompanied by a happiness to see you.
The desire to get to know you. The joy that you are even considering
introducing yourself.
Down Syndrome
right? Wrong! I cannot possibly express how wrong! I’ll try it like this: Wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong,
and one more for good measure: WRONG! All in caps. Joy syndrome is what they have, and it’s what
they spread. ENJOY them! They are treasures, and gems that we have been blessed
to have on this earth. If you are one of the few blessed with the opportunity
to have a child with happiness syndrome in your home, be grateful! Share her!
Spread her joy. People will have emotions about it, but for the most part these
days, they are just new to them. You think someone is staring? It’s ok, more than
ok! Invite them over, introduce your loved one. Help them understand. Do not be
afraid of bringing one of them into this world. Do not let what you don’t
understand make your decision for you. Take the time to understand these people
before you let your naivety and selfishness make it for you. If you deny that
opportunity you are denying you, and your family the greatest blessing that can
be bestowed to a family and anybody that family meets. At the very least, do
not deny that to someone who would gladly take them into their home for those
blessings. As my wife says and I've modified: “It’s only an extra chromosome,
calm the freak down! (I've had to tell myself this on occasion :) They are not
an alien, they are a child of God, just like you and I. A human, just like you.
Flesh and blood, with a heart of pure gold. They unify a home. They enlighten
it, and build it into a solid foundation, created by their acceptance and
kindness. They are truly an example and presence of who God wants us to be.
If you have any
questions whatsoever about love syndrome, happiness syndrome, or pure joy
syndrome please do not hesitate to ask. We do not judge, and will not only
answer your inquiries, but encourage it.
With love,
The Hansen’s
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