Christmas colds

Yes. That's right. We went to the in-laws for Christmas... came home with a stinking cold! So, as to the lapse in posts, that is why. We thought we were all better and then Kourtney wakes up last night with a fever. Poor thing. She's just like her mother in that she cannot sleep when she is sick. It's a curse I tell ya'. No fun at all. But she has been fever free all day long and we eventually decided to give in to her pleas to go outside to play. In the snow. In the cold. In Rexburg. Needless to say that it didn't last very long. But we had mounds of fun all the same.

Enjoy.

 Doesn't look like much... but they each had 11 presents. I thought that was perfect!

 Kloey's first time in the snow.

 SNOW ANGELS!!!

And her hat fell off.

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!!!

For who You Are

Kloey is 16 months old. For anyone that gets annoyed when mothers use the months and not just plain ol' years to tell their child's age... it makes a BIG difference at this time in their lives. What they do month to month is sooo incredibly different. So yes, I use months.
This month for the first time since we've locked eyes, I feel like I have finally met my daughter. Does that confuse you? It probably should. Since she's been born Kloey has been tender, sweet, full of love, just genuinely angelic. Honestly, that is pure truth. No gushing mama business there. It's fact. This time with her has been superb and pretty "chill". But she wasn't showing us any personality. Developmentally she hadn't reached that point yet, the point of discovering yourself. It's pretty basic to most... but it has taken her quite some time.

It started a few weeks ago with her discovery of the twin in the mirror. First: the "why hello there" look. Second: "You again...". Third: "What is this sorcery?". Fourth: "I gotta see this again". Fifth: "TO THE MIRROR!!!". She literally dives for it when she is in my arms. Oh, the giggles and chubby hand prints all over my bathroom mirror. But I love it! In all honesty it is MARVELOUS!!!

Next came the discovery of fighting sleep. She has NEVER done this. Oh goodness. I didn't know what was going on. Normally I just lay her down, give her a kiss, shut the door, and she's out for the night. A couple of weeks ago she decided she didn't wanna. So she let me know that she didn't wanna. That child SCREAMED! Granted, it was probably a whimper compared to most children's screams, but it was a Klo scream. Scared me to death I tell you! Sheesh! Now I know her game... but she isn't understanding the "cry it out" concept. It's warm milk and snuggles for that one.

And the fake crying. Oh, the fake cries. Anyone that has been around children in their life knows what I am referring to. But man oh man is it cute!!! The child has "cute" down to an art. Gets that from her father, I could never "cute" my way out of anything... probably not even to save my life. Jordan on the other hand... [insert eye roll]... yeah. The look of triumph and glee on her face when she wins you over with that fake cry == PRICELESS!!!

Then, she started to play games. Not a big deal to some. HUGE for us. I have been trying to get her to understand games... any games... for AGES. And now she does. Last night (fighting sleep night) she took her bib, pulled it over her head, and quickly pulled it down and giggled. I thought, "oh, it looks like she's playing peek a boo... what a coincidence.." and then she did it again, and again, and again. YAY!!! She WAS playing peek a boo. She got quite a kick out of that one. Her favorite game is one that she made up. I call it the "dive and snuggle". Basically she is sitting on my lap, facing me.. when she dives head first into my chest and snuggles into my neck, and then proceeds to burst into laughter. Cutest thing EVER!!! I don't understand the amusement she finds in it... but she definitely amuses me. I got that game on video... I will have to post it sometime.

All of this is so exciting to me for many reasons. Perhaps my favorite reason is that I can now see the child and not the Down Syndrome. How bad does that sound? Anyone that follows my posts knows that I adore this child. But this has been a struggle for me. To look at my child and want to see her for HER... not for her diagnosis. I have been so frustrated with myself... praying and praying that I would just focus on the sweet little girl... not the extra chromosome. Everyday it seemed that it was just a fresh sting. It was so hard for me to understand. If I love her, why can't I just let this go?

And then, it just happened. Three days ago to be exact. She started showing this bright, and colorful personality and I was so focused on that, on her, that I didn't think about Down Syndrome all day. As I was laying in bed I realized that I saw Klo for Klo. For who she is. For everything that I adore about her. I saw her through eyes that couldn't see a diagnosis. I saw her through eyes that were seeing her for the very first time. That day I grew even closer to my baby. And I have to believe that she did to me as well. Because there was no more wall. There was no more sting. There was just pure love. In that moment of realization my heart was so full of gratitude and relief that I nearly cried (but I was really tired). And for three whole days I have seen the baby. I have seen the giggles. I have seen the personality. I have seen the love. I have met my little girl.

 Nice to meet you little one.

12 Days of Christmas Givin'

So, here we continue our 12 days to Christmas countdown. Today's idea for giving: give to a stranger. We are going into town today and I figured, why not? When you see that person ringing the salvation army bell, maybe put a little more in than you normally would. Heck, if you're not a very smiley person normally why don't you try smiling at the people that you pass today? Just do whatever your heart leads you to do, just do it for someone that you do not know. Maybe we'll help an older lady with her groceries today... the sky is the limit! Get out there and GIVE!!!

Somehow she got hold of the box of cereal. So, naturally, she attacked! LOL AND.... she is now army crawling!!!!! yayyyy!!!!!

Twelve Days of Christmas Giving

That's right. Here we start the 12 days to Christmas count down. What is Christmas if it isn't about giving? So, from now until Christmas Eve we will be doing a blog post every day. Everyday there will be a new way and idea on what/how to give. I'm sure our lives will be greatly enriched through this adventure.

First day: Give at home.

This seems fairly easy, right? We always give at home. CHECK!

Hold on! Not so fast....
I mean give something that is normally very difficult for you. If you don't normally make a nice dinner, try it tonight. If you don't read a book to your kids, try it tonight. For me, I think that I will do something fun with Kourtney for at least 30 minutes tonight. It is hard for me to sit down and play with her. My imagination isn't the way it used to be. So, tonight that is what I'll do. What will you give at home?

Gordon B. Hinckley: Christmas means 'giving,' and the gift without the giver is bare. Give of yourselves; give of your substance; give of your heart and mind.

Today, I will give of my time to her!

Words wise

Hey there! LDS Mommy now has its own facebook page. You can like me here.

On to today's post. I have  been wondering and pondering on how best to approach today's subject. I've actually been thinking about it for more than a month. Normally I just spill it out. But this, I feel, is a bit more delicate. To me it is just common sense. But I have recently found that not everyone sees it as such. And that is the point of my pondering and posting about it. To raise a bit more awareness on using the word "retarded". A sensitive subject for sure.

The actual dictionary definition of retardation is: slowness or limitation in intellectual understanding and awareness, emotional development, academic progress, etc.

Retardation is an actual clinical diagnosis used for people that do have feelings. My daughter is, technically, retarded. That should not be such a derogatory term to use on her behalf. Because it is simply the clinical truth. Children born with Down Syndrome have some level, mild to severe, of retardation. So, yes, I find that word offensive.

Growing up, my parents always taught me that this word was never to be used and flung around without second thought. God love them for their wisdom. How wonderful a preparation for me today. When I was a child I didn't quite understand what the big deal was. So one day I decided to use it. Well, I used it in front of my uncle, my dear uncle who is mentally retarded. Maybe I thought that he didn't notice, or possibly that he wouldn't care. Quickly I learned what the big deal was. Right after I said it he said, "hey! don't say that word." and he looked so incredibly hurt. I will never forget that. 

The fact of the matter is this... there are so many other words in the dictionary that you can use to describe someone who might be acting dumb, silly, goofy, sluggish, ludricous, idiotic... just pick one. 

My daughter is mentally retarded. My uncle is as well. I have two others, very dear to me, that are as well. Would you say, "that's gay" in front of a gay person. No. It is offensive. So just don't say it at all. There are so many more examples that I could give on that front but I think you get the idea. Don't sit in the same room as my child and I and fling around the word retarded. It just simply isn't nice.

On another point: Kloey IS mentally retarded. When I say that do not be appalled. Many people, when I approach them about the use of this word, are just shocked that I would call my daughter something so offensive. I've even had people tell me that I need to check my facts because that is not what the word means. Really people? Really? Just go buy a dictionary. You're using it in the wrong way, not me. Please do not attack me when I gently attempt to correct you. Never would I approach anyone in an accusatory or judgmental way. We all slip up and say insensitive things without realizing or thinking about it. This is dear to my heart and honestly, I never want my daughter's feelings to be crushed when that word is being flung around so carelessly... especially by those that she should feel completely comfortable around. 

I hope that I touched base on this in the most tactful way that I could. Really, I do not want to hurt feelings or point fingers. Awareness just needs to be raised. Next time you are tempted to use that word in a demeaning way, just stop and think... then CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY. 

A milestone

How exciting it is when Klo Bow accomplishes something... anything... it doesn't matter what it is. This morning Jordan put her in her chair and gave her some chocolate chex (my kids are addicted). She ran out of said chex. (THE HORROR) So she hollered at me a couple of times but I didn't get the hint. Apparently my kid is neglected. But then I looked at her to see what the problem was and she looked straight at me, then down at her plate, then tapped the plate with her little bitty index finger, and smiled up at me. HOW STINKIN' CUTE IS THAT?!!! I swear I probably woke the neighbors with my cheers of sheer joy! What a wonderful moment for us.

Some might think, "what's the big deal, I don't get it?". The big deal is that my child communicated with me in a way that she has never done before. She knew EXACTLY what she wanted and figured out a great way to ask for it. She made her wants known and she made them perfectly clear. I could not have mistaken that finger tap for any other thing. It was as if she looked at me and said, "more chex, please". PRAISE THE HEAVENS!!! Sometimes I get discouraged and I start allowing myself to wonder; will she ever call me Mama; will she ever know Jordan is Dada; she's going to walk, right?; I'm teaching her to sign, why isn't she picking any of it up??? And those are totally natural feelings. Sometimes I feel as if other mothers must just be better teachers because many Downs babies are much further along than she is. But then, I have to always remind myself that Klo is Klo. She is not any other child. Therefore, it will never be fair to compare her to other children, even other Downs children, because she is her own person. It is okay that she is progressing at a slower rate. I don't want to mainstream her. I don't want to push her to be like everybody else. Because that is unrealistic. She is Kloey. She has an extra chromosome. In some areas she has much more than anyone else. And in other areas, she has just decided to take her time. And we all love her for exactly who she is. Besides, the little milestones wouldn't mean as much if we didn't have to work SO hard for them.

 Spaghetti and Christmas movie night at the Hansen's:
Kourtney decided to eat delicately....
Kloey had other ideas.

On a final note. We were invited to a playgroup today with some church friends. It was our first time and I was pretty excited to go... nervous too as meeting new people is always a bit nerve racking. Kourtney cried and whined for the first half an hour. Joy. She kept saying, "I don't want to share my toys... I don't like these friends... I want to go home to my Daddy". Imagine that in the most annoying, whiny, four year old girl voice and you've got a pretty good idea of what I was dealing with. These gals are super nice, so it's not like I had a huge reason to be embarrassed but come on, is that not annoying??? I don't care who you are... that's annoying. Eventually she warmed up and started having a fabulous time and that allowed me to actually join the adult conversation. I found that I was really enjoying everyone and feeling very welcome and that was very nice for me. They invited me to another play group and a girls' night out date. Yay! Then it was time to go home. As everyone is cleaning up we realize that two children are missing. Bet you can't guess whose kid was gone! That's right, MINE! Splendid. It's not like she hasn't done this before. She just runs around and hides or gets lost somewhere in the building and it takes about 2 minutes to find her. No worries, right? Wrong. We searched that building for 10 minutes and nothing! By this time me and the other mom (her little boy was the other kid missing) well, we're starting to freak out a bit. So, she goes outside and I start running around, checking every closet, bathroom, and speck of dust! 5 minutes later I hear someone shout my name. I turn the corner and there they are. She then proceeds to tell me, "they were outside by the road... the one that is always really busy". To which Kourtney replies, "we just wanted to take a walk". I was so scared and angry and relieved all mixed into one. I wanted to scold her, and I wanted to cry, and I wanted to hug her. So I did all three. Then the guilt set in. I'm the new one. It was my first time. And my kid and one of their's decides to run off. Great first impression, Steph. Fantastic. They were, of course, very sweet about it. But I was embarrassed, oh so embarrassed. The little boy had no coat or jacket on. Kourtney did. Luckily, I am still invited to the next playgroup and they have yet to kick me out of the girls' night date. WHEW. Seriously, scariest thing ever. I had to have a "kidnapping" talk with Kourtney. She just wasn't understanding (or caring about) the whole, "you can't go outside without Mommy or Daddy". Even when the danger of cars hitting her were thrown in there. Oh goodness. Gotta love my kid.

Singin' a Song

Kourtney absolutely looves to sing!!! This makes me extremely happy since I am a pretty big singer myself. Yesterday she was singing along to her Disney princess cd and was being quite creative with her words. Seeing as how she didn't know any of the words, she just sang "I don't know" to the tune of the song. I watch this video over and over, and it just gets funnier every single time. Be sure to watch to the very end, as the BEST parts are at the end. Much love! And Happy Monday!!!

By the way, she wouldn't let us record her. So, we had to be sneaky and just leave the camera turned on in the room. 

The goose is getting FAT

Christmas is officially upon us! We put our tree up today, as soon as we got out of bed this morning. I must say that it was SO much fun, mainly because Kourtney was so thrilled by the whole concept. She was very into getting out the decorations and playing with them more than hanging them up. She was just a lot of fun. Kloey just rolled around to get to all of the different ornaments that were strewn about the floor. When we turned on the tree lights she was just enthralled! It was a special moment for us in the Hansen household.

 Kourtney picked out her clothing for the day. She's rather independent and insistent.

Haha!!! I got you!!!

I just have one question that has been on my mind for days... When did my four year old get so... BIG?!!!
Really, she just talks and talks and talks. And she makes COMPLETE SENSE! She's not just jabbering and she repeats EVERYTHING!!! Oh my goodness. We really have to be careful. And her imagination is through the roof. She says the funniest things. And she makes up her own songs. SERIOUSLY?!!! When did this happen?  Here are some funny Kourtney-isms.

• Are you kiddin' me right now?
• I told you Mom, I told you!
• Daddy, my mommy say no but... (that never works)
• How about I get twelve-y minutes. (I try telling her that 20 minutes is more than 12-y... basically because 12-y is non existent)
• Gangnam Style! (yeah, that's a new one)

There are so many more but I just can't seem to remember all of them. She is difficult because she is so smart. She tries to bargain her way out of everything. Gotta give the girl credit. She's pretty good at it. She doesn't ever really win but she gives it her best shot. And her favorite thing??? Posing for pictures and dancing!!! Love her!

 She wanted to hold Kloey. I love her!

 Helping with the tree. Such a big girl.

And posing of course!!!

Hard/Easy

Hello all! Here we are in our new home and we are totally loving it! It is quite small for a family of four but we are finding that it's super cozy! We are just in love with it! Nothing like going a few weeks without a place of your own to make you really appreciate finally getting one.

So, today I want to focus on something that's been eating at me. Actually, there are several things that have been eating at me... but all in due time. The subject of annoyance today; anyone that is not raising a child with Down Syndrome that says to me that I have no need to be upset because it's not hard. Please, go ahead and kick me while I'm down... throw a little mud on top of me while you're at it.
Truly, Kloey is an angel of a child. She's happy, friendly, smiley, hardly cries without purpose, and is very snuggly. That being said, this is a hardship for me. My child has a mental and physical delay. The older she gets, the more obvious that delay is. Even compared to other downs kids her age she is very delayed. Who wouldn't be sad about that? When I watch a child half of Kloey's age doing things that, technically, she "should" be doing, I get sad. My heart twists inside of me. When I realize that she doesn't understand something as simple as waving bye-bye, then it is sad. When I realize that, mentally, she is at the level of a 6 month old then it is sad. Right now she is fairly easy to deal. But she is a baby folks! Do you honestly believe that the toddler years won't be difficult? When she knows that she should be able to communicate with us and realizes that she can't... do you think that will not be hard? When children her age are walking and she can't.. do you think that will be easy? Do you think that it is easy for her to go through therapy every single week to learn things that come so easily to other children? Do you think that it wasn't difficult when it took her 5 months to learn how to hold her head? An accomplishment that most babies achieve by at least 2 months.
Then there are the constant thoughts of what the future holds for my baby. Only a very naive person would think, "Oh, everyone loves a child that has Downs. No one will be cruel to her because you can see that she has a disability". Really? Then obviously you have never been a part of the real world. People with any form of mental or physical disability tend to be rejected and shunned a lot more than most people. It is a fact of life. They are largely misunderstood and even feared. It is unfortunate but it is true. Of course, there are those high schools and what not that vote a downs girl into the position of homecoming queen, etc. But that doesn't happen very often. That is why it makes headline news folks. Because it is news, not common place.
Kloey is my blessing and my trial. Do not downplay what I go through everyday. It is not nice. To tell me to stop struggling with something that is very hard for me is hurtful. To tell me that it is "silly" to worry about such things that I worry about is quite rude. Honestly, comments like that make me feel very guilty about my natural feelings. Now, I love my baby. There is no doubt about that. Do not take this post as a complaint against my fate of having a daughter with Down Syndrome, because I would never change that. Not ever. But, just because I choose to see the light and the blessings in this does not mean that it is easy. It is not easy. This is hard for me for a lot of very different reasons. She is not hard for me. She is my darling. She is my angel. She is my light.
Much love.

5 years

November 24, 2007
Pic: not from the date above.

On this day five years ago, I married my best friend. Today, he means so much more to me than I ever imagined he could. A marriage like our's is truly and honestly rare and hard to find. Jordan, this is what you mean to me:

• Comfort. In knowing who I am, what I want, the person I am trying to become.
• Security. To know that I can always be who I am, and never ever have to apologize for that.
• Trust. A more loyal and loving man would be impossible to come by. Honestly, I never knew a man could be so wonderful, so thoughtful, so trustworthy.
• Warmth and snuggles. Let's be honest. Are you not one of the biggest snugglers of all time?!! I believe you enjoy it more than I do. Thanks for that. 
• Home. No matter where we are, no matter who we are with, I know that when you hold me in your arms, I am HOME.
• Silly-ness. This trait that we share is actually not as common as we always thought that it was. I'm as silly with you as I've ever been with anyone. That's pretty goofy stuff. And, I have to say, you kind of trump me in the silly department. Let's keep that going... FOREVER. Because our life together is never ever boring.
• Funny fighting. By this I mean, when I am trying my darndest to stay mad at you and you won't allow it. When you just start smiling and trying to poke me, then tell me that I'm not mad. Melts me every time. Dang you!
• Father. Never in my life have I witnessed a man more dedicated to his children. You know, they love you, they adore you, they cherish their time with you. How could they not? They are your princesses and don't they know it! Side note: thank you for taking it upon yourself to do more of the disciplining. That way, I get to be the good guy sometimes too. You will never know how great that is for me.
• Husband. The best that there has ever been. I know that when I wake up in the morning, I am going to see more love in your eyes than I did the day before. Hopefully, you know how wonderful that is for me. Hopefully, you know how comfortable that makes me. 
• Service. Not only do you try your hardest to serve others, but you begin in our home. Serving us, your family, is your number one priority. We know that and we love it. Thank you.
• Annoying. Come on, I had to throw that one in there. Because, I just did. But, don't be discouraged... you're annoying in the "he's too stinkin' happy this early in the morning" kind of way. 
• Handsome. I never thought that it would be possible, but I am way more attracted to you now, 5 years later, than I was when we were dating. And, you know, that seems pretty darn near impossible. ;)
• Kind. Never do you show me anything but kindness and understanding. How do you do that? How do you always see the best in me? 
• Patience. You live with me and our two daughters. Need I say more?
• Love. You are my love. You are my world. Together, we just make sense. I just can't say much more than that here... because words cannot describe the way my life lights up when you smile at me... or the way my heart still flutters when you walk in the door... or the way I seem to melt into you when you kiss me. I love you Jordan Hansen.

I know that our time together has just begun. But, five years feels so long because we have both changed so much. Thank you... thank you for a wonderful five years... thank you for being my best friend.... thank you for asking me to marry you... and thank you for always loving me.  And thank you... for all of the wonderful years yet to come.

Happy Anniversary to my love.

New goal

So, starting now I will be keeping up with my blog. Twice a week folks. You will be hearing from this crazy lady at least two times every week. Be excited.

The finale.

The Final day of Down Syndrome Awareness Month...

To Kloey Alice:

I knew that you were there
yet, it did not feel quite real.
You grew and grew each day
but I did not know your soul.
Movements came all day and night
the connection was not there.
A thought of something extra
filled my heart with fear.

Each day I struggled endlessly
to know the girl inside.
I tried and tried
to no avail
to calm my racing thoughts.

One night you came.
I knew right then
you would not be the same.
As you struggled for your breath
I struggled with my pain.

You came into my arms
I looked into your eyes.
I was calm.
A smile formed.
But did not last for long.
I knew again
with certainty
you were what I feared.

A day passed by
without much thought
without much feeling
without much love.
I felt the need to run that day.
I felt the need to cry.
I felt that everything was lost.
I felt that life was done.

Then I saw you helplessly
laying on your own.
I grabbed your hand
and said your name
and cried for all your pain.

I fell in love that morning.
I fell in love with you.
I fell so deeply that despair
could never overcome.

I fall in love each day
with everything you are.
You teach so much of love
of being who
and what
you are.

Today I cannot possibly
imagine what I felt.
That day that was so numb for me
was fear and nothing else.

I do not fear you little one.
You do not have to worry.
I know that you have come to me
so that we can share this journey.

Thank you for joining us this month. I love you all!!!

Just 2 left?

I really want to say how much I appreciate everyone that has been keeping up with us during this wonderful Down Syndrome Awareness Month. This has been a great opportunity to let everyone in on our life with our two wonderful daughters. Tomorrow I hope to have something extra special for the final day of this October.
So, today we shall talk about a typical day in the life of Kloey.

• she wakes up
• She eats; she is still getting most of her calories from bottles as eating is a bit tough for her.
• She watches Baby Einstein (or goes back to sleep)
• She gets up and plays with big sister
• They play with blocks and dolls and she pulls sister's hair and sister sometimes pushes her over when she pulls her hair... but only in an attempt to stop her
• We eat lunch: it could be a pb sandwich, eggs, spaghetti, yogurt, whatever.
• During lunch she voices her protests very loudly if I even attempt to help her. She is very independent.
• Then, if God is gracious that day, she and big sister nap at the same time.
• She wakes up to Mommy snuggles and more play time.
• Some days she will have her play therapist come over and some days she will have her physical therapist come over. When she wants them to leave she will most certainly let them know.
• If she wants to get to something or somewhere... she will roll.... 'cuz that's how she rolls... eeehhhh!!!!
• Then she gets tired of playing and wants me to hold her... for the rest of the night!
• Dinner rolls around and she will either eat what we're having or drink a bottle.
• Some days we get a bath.
• She joins us for scripture study.
• Then family prayer
• Hugs and kisses
• Good night!

So, really her typical day is not a whole lot different from any other typical child. Honestly, her therapy is more like play. They're pretty sneaky with the learning. Kloey is 15 months old. Her sister was walking and almost talking by 15 months, this is true. But, don't we always say that our babies grow up too quickly? Blink your eyes and it's gone? Wouldn't we love to have a little more time with them before they get big and grumpy and all independent and sassy? We always say so. For us it is so. We get to keep Klo Bow little for a while and I am just pleased as punch. This is something that I thought would be so hard for me and really, I just love it. Sometimes, it IS hard. But a lot of times I get to learn about patience. We get to be reminded everyday that every child is different. Every child is unique. You cannot compare one child to another because that is not fair. Kloey decided that she wanted to come into this world and do things at her own pace... and we just get to go right along with her... and enjoy the journey.

These wonderful pictures compliments of my wonderful sister in law Mindy Lamprecht.

Check her out ;)  Mindy Sue Photography

3 to go... Jordan's turn!

       Hello readers, my name is Jordan Hansen, the husband of the wonderful Stephanie. She really is an incredible woman, someone that I and many others look up to. My favorite thing about her is her humility, she has never once thought herself better than another. She's always so overjoyed by those of you who follow and read her blog, and who have just been there for her. As this month comes to a close, down syndrome awareness month does too, but please don't think it's the end of Stephanie's uplifting, loving thoughts. This is just the first spark of a large fire that will continue to bring to light worlds of information on many subjects. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful woman build me up and put up with me! I often tell people that there is no way I could ever separate myself from her, because there's no other woman in the world that would deal with my off the wall-ness, and sometimes just plain ludracrasity. Lucky for her I get to put up with her's too. And now we have to put up with our two little clones!
               
           Kourtney, our oldest little creation of perfection has given us a marathon for our money. What a darling, and stubborn as can be. I truly believe that our Heavenly Father and Creator, decided that Kloey needed a protector in her life, especially because it seems things can be even worse for these little angels. People can be ill-informed, careless, and just plain harsh when it comes to talking about and even to a person with an extra chromosome. I know that with an adoring loving big sister, she will have a chance to enjoy this world, and help others to also come to an understanding of her. She's never had  baby jealousy or shown any kind of resentment towards her. since day one it's been wanting to hold, snuggle and love her. She doesn't even like to go to sleep without her in the same room. I know this will never change, and am so grateful for her. I'm not saying every sibling is going to be this accepting of this challenge, but I do know that there is potential for both the child and its siblings to have a lifelong friend, companion, and confidant.

          Uninformed. That was, is still, and will always be me. For this I'm assuming could be a reason you're here. Thank you so much for learning and getting to know this seemingly secret world of pure joy. I was always under the impression growing up that all of the downs kids just liked to be in their own class, learning at their own slow pace, away from everyone and by themselves. First thing I realized: Downs people are not just in "their own" category. They're just like you and me, and want to be considered as such. they can and do learn, they can and do interact, they can and do laugh, and love, just like everyone else, even more-so I've also come to realize! they work harder than any of us and would surpass us in any challenge if we put as much effort as they did into making a challenge a success. I'm convinced the only person that would make fun of, not include, or not just completely fall in love with a person with DS is someone who hasn't taken time to get to know them. Ironically enough, if the abortion rates were not so high for them, there'd be more than 9 times the amount of love and understanding going throughout the world than there is now. Many people abort for that reason alone, that they feel they will be alienated by their family and friends. If that be the case, are these the kind of people you want surrounding you?

          My parents got to spend an evening with our two girls and had a wonderful time. My Dad who has been learning just as I have been, thought up something very clever to say in the meeting of another parent of a person with trisomy 21. He decided that when he saw such a parent instead of others usual comments like, "I'm sorry to hear that", or "that's so hard",  he'd say "You must have done something very wonderful to deserve a baby with down syndrome." These were some of the sweetest words I've ever heard my dad say.

           During Steph's pregnancy with Kloey I decided to get to know a little bit about trisomy 21 and it  wasn't easing my worry a lot. A lot of the problem was, is, that I had just been reading statistics, and numbers, and doctors thoughts. I never really got to learn from an actual parent the joys that are waiting to come from them. They have unconditional love, a smile that could melt the ugliest frowny face, and a personality you can't help but want to be around. Also, please do remember that each one of them is different between themselves and those who weren't blessed with an extra chromosome. Their personality's  tolerances, interests, and desires are all different, just like ours. Down syndrome is not what Kloey is, It's part of who she is. Steph thought of that saying and it's so true. I was honestly never very scared, just a little wary and more worried for my wife. As soon as that baby came out though, that worry diminished, and I knew their bond was eternal. God had made a plan for this family since before we were even around. We had all known each other before this life, and that bond was just re-realized. Our Kourtney bear proved that there was no need to have fear or worry, with her instant bond to Kloey.

             Sorry for the very long and late entry, I hope it helped someone. Please refer your friends and loved ones here, even if they have no direct affiliation a a person enjoying down syndrome. We love you all and wish that you'll continue to join us on our crazy family adventures that are only just beginning.
                                                God bless!
                                                                   * Jordan Hansen (The one she puts up with)

         

4 days left in OctOBeR!!!

Oh, how I miss my pictures. But my words will have to do until tomorrow at least. So hello again. It was a SUPER long night for us over here in Provo, Utah. Cleaning our apartment took forever long. But now it is completely spotless and ready for the new peoples.

Our children have been with their grandparents for the past two nights while we've been packing and cleaning. It's funny... it is nice to be able to sleep through the night and not worry about them waking up and needing something but, when morning comes we find that we miss them terribly. Guess it's good to know that you love your kids enough to miss them :)

Going along with the above, I wanted to focus today on my love for Kloey. Of course I love her, but I wasn't always so sure that I would. When I was pregnant I was more afraid of her than in love with her. Every day I prayed and prayed and prayed that my feelings about her were wrong. That I was going to give birth to another little Kourtney... a beautiful, perfect, typical baby just like Kourtney. I didn't want the "imperfect" baby. I didn't want the extra work. I didn't want the questions. I didn't want that child. Sad to say, but true nonetheless.

Fast forward to now, because you all know my story. If you don't you can read it here. Now, I wake up every morning and I NEED to see her. If she is not there my day is not complete. Her happiness is so contagious. Her smiles brighten any day. When people babysit her they don't want to give her back. I cannot imagine my life without her. I really really can't and I really really don't want to. Not at all. And the same goes for her extra chromosome. Take that away and Kloey would not be Kloey. She is who she is... and I LOVE who she is!!! I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!! And now I don't HAVE to tell people... but I GET to tell people;  

MY BABY GIRL HAS DOWN SYNDROME! AND WE LOVE HER MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!!!

hello all! 5 days left!!!!

Howdy to all of our friends out there joining us for this wonderful Down Syndrome Awareness Month! Five more entries to go. What to talk about today??? Well, with a move that is not completely done and me being completely exhausted I really have no idea. But here goes...

Let's talk about the fact that everyone has parents. Random, I know... just go with it. Really though, it's true. When I was in school and I would see the special ed class walking by I remember always sticking up for them when they were picked on. Because that happened a lot. I just never thought about how their parents most likely felt about what their children had to face in this world full of misunderstandings. Now, I am one of those parents. Now, I realize that as much as those children were hurt by those other children's rude remarks and tormenting their parents probably felt it more than they did. They will always carry their children's burdens on THEIR shoulders. Just remember that. No matter what the person looks like, acts like, does do, doesn't do... they are people JUST like you. Their mommy and daddy love them... and want to protect them. I know I do.

Much love. Sorry no pics tonight. I do not have my beloved computer :(

Until tomorrow.

6 - More Moving day

Down Syndrome Awareness month continued. Kloey is now getting up on hands and knees all the time. She loves it so much, that she does it as much as she can. We are in the middle of a move, so sharing pictures tonight.
Enjoy!!

Pretty in pink!!

Going to Church with Nana!!

Playing with Cousin Anna!!

Aunt Rachael!!!

Cousin Alicia is such a Mother Hen!!

Walk with Angels!!

Playing with Mommy!!

Our walk to Bridal Veil Falls!!

This was a great day!!

Just seven more?!!!

Wow. I cannot believe that we are down to just one week of posts for the lovely Down Syndrome Awareness Month. What I can say is that I will take a break from blogging for a bit after this week is finished. What with a move and all... I think I will need to focus on putting my household together. Boy am I a bit stressed.

Anyhoo. So, I think that today I will focus on how people with Downs feel about having Downs. I know that the common tendency is to think, "oh, how sad for them". But really... it's not sad. Do they look sad? Do they look miserable? Heck no! Jordan's father shared with me a very touching story when Kloey was about 3 weeks old. He said that there was a teenage girl attending their church that had Down Syndrome. One Sunday she got up to speak in the meeting. She began her talk with this simple statement, "I am glad I am me". In that moment I realized something. I realized that Kloey is happy to be Kloey. Just as Tiffany Mae (I was her camp counselor when I was a teenager) was thrilled to be Tiffany Mae.

People may think that those that have Down Syndrome are not mature.. they're not smart... they don't understand... they have a hard time dealing with things.... they are too different... and so on. But they don't think that. They are simply who they are. They, like all of us, try to do their best and be their best. No one should be unhappy because they are who they are. We should all be grateful for the talents and abilities that we have been blessed with. No two people are alike. It is important to remember that. Do not be sad for someone that you think is less fortunate than yourself. Whether it's an extra chromosome, a physical disability or what have you... they are happy to be them. Be happy they are them. Be happy you are you. Be happy that everyone in this world is unique.

8 More --- Nana's story

First of all, I would just like to say that I feel quite privileged to have this opportunity to be a part of this "story". Anyone who knows me, knows that my Grandchildren are the light of my life. I love spending time reading, playing, baking, just about anything with them.

The story with Kloey began when Steph was pregnant with her. (Some of this Steph is just going to learn through this blog) She had talked to me on the phone about some of her fears, and I remember telling her that it was pretty normal to have fears about your unborn baby. She and Kourtney came for a visit when she was about 6 months along, and she had been having troubling thoughts and feelings. I told her that she should pray about these feelings, because there are some questions that only Heavenly Father could answer. Of course I knew that is exactly what she would do. I had then talked with Steph again, and she was very overwhelmed by these thoughts of DS. She had prayed, but was not scared. I became increasingly concerned for Steph, and began to pray. I remember the night Kloey was born, (the only Grandchild whose birth I had not been there for) it was a long night. I sat on the phone most of it while on speaker phone. Very different. Steph had said to me, "Mom something is not right with her, and they keep telling me that they don't see anything". So Ran and I prayed some more, so that I would know how to guide and help our Daughter. A few days later after tests results had come back, sure enough she has DS. I kept telling myself "Be strong for her, she needs you to be strong!" All I wanted to do was hold my baby, and hers. I knew that I loved her beyond measure, but I was very worried about MY daughter. I had NO doubt that she loved Kloey, but I did know that she was grieving. I would listen and encourage her, and then get off the phone and fall apart. Ran and I would pray, and I would cry. I did not fall apart because my Grandbaby had DS, I fell apart for my baby. I had been reading up on what Parents go through, and I knew that she needed me. I HATED being so far away. She and I would talk many times a day. I knew in my heart that Kloey had the best Parents EVER! I just needed Steph to know it. There was never any question that our family would be accepting. One thing about us is that we love one another through thick and thin, and when one is in need everyone gathers around them. We may have been far away, but only by miles.

I could not wait to meet my new Grandbaby! I needed more than anything to hold her, and to love her. Mostly to be with my Daughter. I can not put into words the feelings of helplessness and longing to be with her. Of all the situations that she had been in, I was ALWAYS there. Now here she was going through this, and I could not be with her. I began researching and buying books, anything that I could think of to help her. Mostly...praying...praying...praying...! Over this past year, and a few visits, I never thought that I could be more proud of her. Her desire is to help her Daughter, love her, and teach her just like Kourtney. I know my Daughter, she is strong, she will be a wonderful Mother to both of her children. I feel so honored to be Kloey's Nana, and so honored to BE a Nana.

Now I get to share some pics. Hope you enjoy them, as they are just some candid shots of family.

Only NinE...

So there are nine more Down Syndrome Awareness entries to go (including this one). This momma is sick today. Kourtney brought home another bug and that means I got it too. Boo! So enjoy this video of the girlies playing together. Just goes to show... Down Syndrome or not... sisters will be sisters :)

10 left... wow

So, Jordan was going to blog tonight but we are so crazy busy with our move being just five days away. (AAAHHHHH!!!!!!) I'm stressed to the max. So ready for it to be done and over with.

To continue with Down Syndrome Awareness month I wanted to focus today on the bond between Kloey and big sister Kourtney. From the moment Kourtney saw Kloey there was instant love. And it just keeps growing and growing. She never acted out or tried to hurt the baby. In fact, Kloey has been a very safe zone for her. She has a calming effect on Kourtney. Sometimes they're in their own little love bubble.

Kourtney has told me some of her favorite things about her baby sister:
I like to pway wif Kwoey
I like to share food
I just feed Kwoey milk
I like to tickle her
We share toys
I love her lots and lots!!!

When Kourtney walks into the room Kloey's whole world lights up! She already watches Kourtney's every move. She craves Kourtney's attention.

When Kloey wakes up and I bring her upstairs Kourtney says things like, "Oh, there she is!" and runs up and asks to hold her. She loves sitting down and "sharing" toys with her (it's a work in progress). And she loves talking about her.

I love how much they love each other. I admit that I didn't know what it would be like. I was nervous that Kourtney would start to act out. But, we are blessed with two wonderful and beautiful daughters who love each other VERY much!!!

(Please excuse the mess in the pictures... as I said, we are in the middle of a move)

11 to go... Let's be lazy.

11 more posts for Down Syndrome Awareness my friends. I have a headache today... so without further ado... let's look at some pictures.

 Klo Bow Pretty Eyes

 Happy Birthday Kloey!!!

 Snuggly with Daddy.

 Corn Teepee with the girls!

 General Conference on Temple Square

 Smiley Pie

 Even more smiley!

 Their favorite part was the fountain.

When a child joins your family they are loved. Period. Down Syndrome does not change that. Our family is MORE complete because Kloey Alice has joined us! We love you sweet baby!!!! ... AND your extra chromosome!!!