Our dictionary defines death for us like this: the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.
And yet, that just seems so wrong, so impersonal, so cold. It seems to just put an enormous amount of emphasis on the fact that the person in question is just no longer being. As if death comes and nothing else matters except for that final fact. That the person no longer exists because they no longer breathe is just not something that I'm willing to accept. Indeed, I know that to be wrong. For starters, there are the memories. The memories of a mother holding her baby, the memories of a growing child, the memories of friendships, loves, heartaches, and so much more. Memories keep people alive in our minds and in our hearts. If a person has made an impact on even one other life, that person is never truly "gone".
Moving past the preliminaries. In my life there are few people that I can say are my truest of the true "friends". Of course, there's my husband and several girlfriends. But there is one other person. A person that has held a piece of my heart for over 10 years. A person whom I have missed dearly for such a long time. A person that has just recently left this world, and as he did so he left a hole in many hearts. What a remarkable and wonderful person he was and still is. I want to emphasize the "still is" part of that sentence by sharing some things that I will never ever forget about this incredible person.
- His testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I had the amazing privilege of hearing him speak of it a couple of times. He never was big on words but he didn't have to be. You could really just feel his love for the gospel and it radiated through him.
- His subtle charm. This one is my favorite. Most teenage boys (men in general) have the tendency to be a bit cocky and full of themselves, overly confident. Not this guy. He was genuinely sweet to the core, no phony business whatsoever. Sometimes I figured it must have been an act, but as I got to know him I realized that was just exactly who he was. Genuinely sweet and sincere. And extremely mild mannered and quiet. That was his charm though.
- He was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. Not once did I ever see him disrespect any person, never did he disrespect me. Always held open doors, never intentionally said anything hurtful, always willing to help.
- He was funny. Although he was very quiet, he could always make me laugh in the best ways.
- When it was cold outside and we were going somewhere he wouldn't start the car until I was sitting right next to him so that he could keep me warm. In a very not creepy sort of way. Looking back on it now, it was probably a bit more romantic-ish than I realized. But I was a naive teenager, what did I really know?
- He wrote probably a hundred (or more) letters to me over the course of several years. It was before the time of rampant cell phone ownership and usage. We wrote letters. There wasn't a single letter that said anything in a negative way. There was nothing that would have ever portrayed him in a negative light. Most of those letters are gone now. And I wish I could have them back.
- We ate way too much pizza! For real. Almost everyday we would get a Little Caesar's pizza and eat the whole thing while we watched some television show or movie or even just talked. Seriously, a lot of pizza.
- He made chocolate milk for me. The first time he did that he only put about a teaspoon of chocolate in the glass of milk. His mother informed him that I was a girl and that I would probably want more chocolate. He brought it to me anyway. I informed him that I would probably want more chocolate. He chuckled and put more chocolate in it.
- At a time when almost every single friend had turned against me (high school was rough for me) he never did. He was there through some pretty rough moments.
- I was not 16 yet. I would not date until I was 16 and he respected that. Not once did he question it or try to "make a move". We were friends. We were best friends. I could always trust him.
Of course, our lives went separate ways. I got married 7 years ago and started a family of my own. He eventually did the same. While we have talked a couple of times over the past few years, it was not to the extent that I would have liked. I wanted to tell him about my children, talk about family life and what not. But the timing was just never right I guess. But I always always knew that he was one of my best friends. I always knew that had never really changed, not really. And that is still the truth. While everything above may be in past tense, it still applies to him today. He has not changed just because he lives in a different place now. He is still everything he was on earth and so much more. He is still one of my oldest and dearest friends. He will always hold a piece of my heart.
