Friday, October 29, 2010

KoURtnEY


OH, our Kourtney! Such a power struggle we have. She is oh so sweet, independent, hungry for candy (all the time), loud, louder, and really loud!!!
She has to do things by herself... at her convenience. While sitting on the potty she waves you out of the bathroom. She has to do it alone. But at other times she just can't seem to cope without you. Stubborn. She's very... I don't even know the word.
We've had several people tell us (people who have gotten to know her) that she has the air about her of a natural leader. Good for later, frustrating for now. Really, I've heard that a number of times from different people. It makes me proud yet exhausted. She is exhausting.
She is a fast learner, very smart. She repeats everything (right now she is fake crying just to get my attention) booger head. She has picked up sign language very well. She is a master at trying to work us (we're on to her though). She loves dance class... and singing. She loves reading and coloring. She loves watching movies. When someone sneezes she says "ess ooo" (bless you). Sweet. When I'm not feeling well she comes up to me and says, "ooo ahkay???" (you okay?). I love it. When we tell her no she tells us no right back. When I give her "the mommy look" she melts and throws herself down on the floor. She doesn't make any noise... just throws herself onto the floor. Nice. She likes to cuddle her baby dolls. And then throw them on their heads. Lovely.
She really keeps me entertained... never gives me a moment to settle down and think "hey, maybe I've got this Mom thing under control". No, she always has something new up her sleeve. She is my greatest lesson. My greatest test of patience and my greatest trial of understanding!
She is so much like me... a blessing and a curse. She is very much like her father too. I guess she just has a double dose of stubborn... poor thing.
Having a child really is like what they say... it is having your heart walk around outside of your body.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Oh BaBY

How we love our crazy Kourtney :)



How I love my adorable family!!!!





These handsome fellas are my new twin nephews... my sister is very tired.
This gorgeous girl is Alicia. She and Kourtney play and fight like sisters. They love eachother.
I was just thinking about how excited we are to be moving to Idaho. Then I thought of how little I'm going to see these very special people in my life. That bums me out. Moving is hard... no matter what. There is a happy and a sad to this moving story of ours. We will be so close to the wonderful Hansen's... but so far from the wonderful Stewart/Hills's. Oh, moving is bitter sweet.
So, those two adorable bundles of joy... they're really bundles of sleep deprivation. My poor sister is only sleeping for about 20 minute intervals at night. My family and I went to see her on Sunday, the girl just looks exhausted. To top it all off she has a C-section to heal from. When we were about to leave and head for home she broke down in tears. CaSandra is not one to cry very often. When she does cry then you know it's a big deal. My parents stayed an extra 3 hours so that she could get some sleep. Gotta love parents!!! I'm glad I don't have a little baby right now. Not to say that I don't want to ever have one... just can't put that on my plate at the moment.
Kourtney... she's 2 going on 20! No joke. But she really is very sweet and she is learning manners very well. Just don't let her get overtired or hungry or uncomfortable in any way.... what can I say? She takes after her mother. Jordan and I just love watching her learn and grow. I find it very hard to punish her or get on to her for something she does wrong. She's so funny and oh so cute! But believe me when I say... I do get on to her. She's so fun and so vibrant!!! She really keeps me busy and on my toes. The gym I go to has a daycare at certain times during the day... I love that 45 minutes of free time.... when I can go and exercise, relieve some stress, and just be alone. *SIGH* It is so nice.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fibromy-who?

Fibromyalgia...

is a medical disorder characterized by chronic widespread pain and allodynia, a heightened and painful response to pressure. ... Other symptoms include debilitating fatigue, sleep disturbance and joint stiffness... bowel and bladder abnormalities, numbness and tingling, cognitive dysfunction.--- Taken from Wikipedia.com

There is no cure for Fibromyalgia and no concrete way to test for it. In fact, patients who have it normally produce completely normal tests... As I have been.

What does this have to do with Stephanie???

Her doctor thinks that this is what she has. Two years of tests, surgeries, etc. has led to this conclusion. The only way to tell if this is my answer is to put me on some medication to see if it helps with my excruciating 24/7 pain. I am hoping and praying that it does. I can't take much more of this. I've reached my limit. I need a miracle and I need it now.

other symptoms (from Wikipedia):
prolonged muscle spasms, weakness in the limbs, nerve pain, muscle twitching, palpitations

(I found this one interesting):
Neck trauma seems to increase the risk of developing Fibromyalgia.

All of the symptoms that I have listed are symptoms that I experience everyday... I only left out about two from the Wikipedia site.

I just want to sleep. And I just want an answer. If this is it... I can accept that... I just want an answer. I'm so sorry that I seem so depressed lately. Really, I've actually been quite happy lately. Jordan and I are fantastic... Kourtney lights up my life... and things are just really really good. Well... except for this :)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pictures








Kourtney is in dance class. Every Friday evening we get dressed up in our tutu and go to dance. She was a bit skeptical at first but now she just dives right in and does what the instructor does. It's so great. I love that we can do this.


Nothing







I feel like I should be blogging. Yet, I just don't feel any words coming to mind that really need sharing. Lately I've been going through a difficult time... just this random blue period. I can't explain it. I don't know. I need a happy list.... that's what I need.






Things that make me Happy:






  • My husband.. my oh so goofy, nothing gets him down, spontaneous husband.



  • My daughter... my ever growing, more monstrous and independent everyday, wonderful daughter



  • Praying... I find myself doing this a lot during the days lately



  • Waking up in the morning... at night I mostly just dream about pain just to wake up and find that I'm in tons of pain... I don't like sleeping



  • Cooking... when I have the energy to do it, I really do love to cook/ bake/ all that jazz


  • Writing... I don't do it much anymore (the more pain you're in the less your creative juices flow)
  • Family.. family really does make me happy. Some are crazy and rude and whatever (not directed at anyone in particular) but they still make me happy and I still love them
  • Fall... Welcome. I love fall. Yes it does mean that winter is fast approaching. But how can you not love sweaters and leaves and pumpkin patches and ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL COLORS!!! I just love it!!!
  • Taking pictures... this is something that I really do love. I love to learn different techniques and different angles, find new spots, and just about all of it! I do love it.
  • The idea of going back to school... totally jazzed for that. (not jazzed about the price of moving but HEY! oh well)
  • the temple... the temple makes me happy happy happy :)

That's that folks. Hopefully, given a little time, I will get out of my blue funk. Until then, we might be seeing more of these "Happy List" blogs. Ta Ta :)