Losing her

Here we are at the end of another Down Syndrome Awareness month. We've shared pictures, stories, and videos to educate people everywhere on Down Syndrome and those that are labeled with it. For this final post I wanted to speak out on something that I am very passionate about.

Giving your Down's baby a chance....

Stick with me here. Statistics are still in the 90% range of women who choose to abort when it becomes clear that their unborn child has Down Syndrome. Just think of that statement. Their unborn child HAS Down Syndrome. Not WILL have... but HAS. And my question would be why? After looking through my blogs for the past thirty days have we not all witnessed that my Kloey's life has great value and she herself possesses great potential for many wonderful things? Do we look unhappy and burdened with the weight of her? Does she look unhappy, difficult, or of no worth? Does Kourtney seem to shun her sister.... would she be better off without her?

Of course those questions seem a little ridiculous but I'm serious. Let's just give you something to chew on here...

I begged God to give me a child with a normal chromosome count. For some reason I was convinced that this life would be too much, too hard for me. Countless thoughts ran through my mind... she would never leave home, she'd always be with us, forever!.... she would face ridicule and unfair treatment from others.... Kourtney would miss out on a "normal" sister experience....there would be too many health issues... And honestly, I think that I was afraid of the label it would give our family. Shamefully so, I admit it.

And for the first day of her life you know what? I couldn't look at her. Slap me right across the face someone, PLEASE!!!

But when I finally did, my prayers changed.

There she was... the child that grew from nothing to something living inside of me for so many months. The child that needed the sound of MY voice, MY heartbeat, MY love. And I wasn't giving it to her. For so many shallow and selfish reasons, I wasn't giving it to her. But seeing her at her worst was too much for me to care about me anymore. This wasn't about me... this is HER life. It isn't up to me to say what HER life is going to be, how valuable, how much potential she will or will not have.

And then I was so afraid. I was afraid that I would never be able to bring her home. I was afraid that she would just stop breathing and I would never get to see her smile, watch her grow, help her learn, play with her, or hear her sweet giggles or even her cries. I begged and pleaded with God some more. But this time I begged FOR HER. Whatever was best for her was what I wanted. But please please please let her live. Give her to me. I WILL love her!!! Just give her to me!!!

Fast forward two years. Not too long ago, about two months in fact, we could have lost her again. Over a simple allergic reaction that the ER doctor didn't catch because he assumed that a swollen tongue was just her normal tongue.... because of her DS. Even when I assured him otherwise. He ignored the dangerous signs of her low oxygen counts (in the 60's folks instead of the 90's where they should be). We were sent home.

That night she grew increasingly worse. She screamed and screamed and I didn't know what to do but I sensed that something was terribly wrong with her. Something was not right and it was in fact very scary. She started gasping for breath and gasping and gasping. She just couldn't breathe and I had no idea what to do! So, I prayed.

The very real possibility of losing my child was in the forefront of my mind. I cried and I begged and I pleaded to know what to do, to know how to help her. I begged for Him to give her to me and promised with everything in my heart that I would always always always cherish and love her. Just PLEASE let me keep her.

And He did. Jordan figured it out and we were able to help her heal. I didn't sleep for a week straight just so that I could be absolutely positive that she was going to be alright. And she was. And I cried sweet tears of relief and joy.

My views have completely changed. She does need me, it is true, but our family NEEDS HER!!! She glues us together, she brings love and joy and sweet happiness into our lives. And yes, she really is just like other children. She throws tantrums (miniature ones at best), she plays, she dances, and she learns. She learns at a slower rate, but it all eventually comes.

.....My point is this. I thought that I knew what her life was going to be like. I thought that I knew exactly who she was. I thought that I knew that I wasn't cut out for it. But I didn't know what her life would bring. I didn't know who she was. Apparently I am cut out for it. And I still don't know what her life is going to bring.

She deserves a chance. She deserves a LIFE. She deserves a mother's unconditional love. She deserves acceptance. She deserves to have a VOICE!

Give them LIFE! Give them a Chance!!!

Thanks for following...
Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!!!!

Boy oh boy

... Am I tired!!!! After hosting a Halloween party tonight I'm pretty pooped. Let's see about checking out our Down Syndrome sweetheart! Because that's what she is... the sweetest of hearts!!!

Happy Halloween... from all of us... to all of you!!!
And happy Down Syndrome Awareness month!!!

I'm so sorry

I get many different reactions when I tell people that my baby has Down Syndrome. (at some point I'm going to have to stop calling her a baby) There are those who awkwardly offer up a phrase like this one, "oh, okay. well see you later". Can't hold it against them, some people just really don't know anything about Down Syndrome and so they shy away from it. Then there are those that will light up at the mention of DS and want to know everything about anything! There are also those that I don't have to say anything to, they will just come right up to Kloey and tell her what a wonderful and beautiful person she is.

Then there are those that I want to shake. The people that offer up the "Oh! I'm so sorry!". I know, I know. Give them a break, they probably don't know any better, blah blah blah. I get that. But really? Why are you so sorry? What is there to be sorry about? Absolutely NOTHING! Nothing at all!

You may think that Kloey is and always will be a "burden" on her family. How very wrong you are. True enough she may never live on her own, but then again she very well could! The thing is... I don't want her to. I want her with me always! That is my blessing. I have a child that won't grow out of her mother. You should be jealous, not sorry.

You may also think that Kloey is/never will be a "normal" person, with normal relationships and normal feelings and normal anything. Let me tell you... She pulled her sister's hair today out of NORMAL frustration that all human beings feel. She also received a firm NO from me for it. Speaking of her sister, does that not sound like a "normal" relationship to you? Oh, it most certainly does to me.

She also knows how to play Jordan and myself like a couple of fiddles. She very "normally" pouts and whines until we turn on Sesame Street. She also throws her food on the floor every single night and refuses to eat until she gets a peanut butter sandwich (she'd settle for a cookie too but Mom isn't going for that!). Let's be honest, she's pretty "normal".

Kloey may not get married, honestly she probably won't. She probably won't go to college. She probably won't move out of our home. But really, she's going to be way ahead of the rest of us when we meet the end of our time here on earth. When you're around Kloey you can feel that she radiates love (unless peanut butter sandwiches or Sesame Street are in short supply). I have to throw Kourtney in here too, they are a pair destined for each other. They are typical sisters. She is a typical daughter. Jordan and I are typical parents. We live our lives and rejoice in her accomplishments and milestones achieved. We don't sit around and wallow in self pity because of one little extra chromosome. That extra chromosome has taught us so much in just the short space of two years, and I would change NONE of it!

Kloey's view

Every morning I wake up, stretch, make a few noises and then pull myself to stand in my crib. Sometimes Mommy jumps when she sees me staring at her. I spook her, and then I giggle. If I don't get picked up right away then I know just how to get what I want... I pucker my lips out and start to pretend to cry because I know they think it's super cute. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does!

After that we go out to the place where Elmo comes from! Elmo makes me happy, I have to watch Sesame Street every morning before breakfast... Mom says I'm addicted. But then I get really hungry and I eat cheerios or eggs or pancakes or just about anything! And there's most definitely always a big mess to clean up... on the table, on my chair, on the floor, and all over ME!!!

Then we get dressed. When Mommy's home I know that she will ALWAYS brush my hair and I HATE THAT! But when Daddy's home sometimes I don't even have to get out of my jammies! (that means no hair brushing) After that ordeal is done with I get to play with my big sister. Some days she likes me so much that she locks me in her room and won't let me out. On other days she doesn't want to share with me so she builds a fortress in front of the toybox to keep me out.

Lunch time can't come soon enough!!! I'm not very picky at breakfast but when that is said and done with I don't want anything but a peanut butter sandwich! (or Nutella) Everything else goes right on the floor and if they try to feed it to me I clamp my mouth shut as tight as it will go and turn my head away. I'm no dummy. My favorite part comes after lunch though... nap time! If I don't get my nappy I am so not happy!!!

When I wake up my sister is usually gone. I don't know where she goes, but she always comes back. My mommy and daddy play games and watch shows with me. Right now Mommy and Daddy are teaching me how to walk. I can do it while they hold my hands up!!! I get better and better each day!!! Someday I will walk just like Kourtney does. Mommy and Daddy are also teaching me how to "talk" with my hands. I can't say much but I know how to tell them I'm hungry! I also know how to tell them that I want Sesame Street. I pick up the magic clicker, point it at the place where Elmo shows up and then jump up and down a little and pretend to click. Works like a charm.

When sister gets home we play and snack and then we get to watch a movie or cartoon before dinner. I don't eat what Mom makes... unless it is a cookie or a peanut butter sandwich. Then I get to take a BATH!!! Yesterday I fell over in the bathtub and kept slipping and swallowing water. I was pretty spooked but I think I know how to keep my balance now. After bath time we read books and say prayers. I get my nice warm bottle of milk, get my teeth brushed, then I get to lay down. I don't argue, 'cuz I like bedtime. When I wake up I know that Mommy will be there, just waiting for me to spook her.


A day in the life of Kloey isn't really different than a day in the life of most children!!!

Pictures say a million things

 Kloey loves loves loves books!!!! All books!!! She even loves my books, and that shows in all of the ripped pages. It's wonderful. She'll just sit down, gather a group of books around herself and then "read" them. And of course she alternates the reading between the watching of Sesame Street. Today I saw a photo opportunity and I just couldn't neglect it.

My baby is so smart. There is no denying that. She may not speak yet but she tells us what she wants. She may not walk yet but she gets around really quickly with her bear crawl. She is just so spirited and so funny! Enjoy.

Epic

Hey all!!! Today I want to try another video. The other ones don't seem to be working. So here goes! Let me know if it doesn't work and if it does then you can still let me know.

This video contains epic cute-ness! Viewers beware. You will most definitely giggle. Perhaps even produce a hearty chuckle. A toddler trying to catch a laser... Kourtney did this as a toddler too! lol

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!!!!

Great Adventures

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
Print Version

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome To Holland”.

“Holland?!?” you say, “What do you mean “Holland”??? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned”.

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

© 1987, by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the author.

I love this because there is just so much truth in it and it is so wonderfully said. Raising a child with Down Syndrome is going to be a lot like raising another “typical” child. But let’s be honest, it’s not what you’re expecting. You were expecting something else, someone else, a different “trip” if you will. But now this trip is changing drastically. Now you have to learn how to slow down, breathe deeply, and observe the beauty that is surrounding you.

Would it be another way

My dear friend asked me to write about whether or not I would be so involved in Kloey's milestones had she come first instead of Kourtney. And the answer is... I'm not quite sure. I believe that I would have been eventually but maybe not from the very start of her life.

To be sure, I definitely would not have had anything to compare it to so most likely I would not have been so good about keeping up with her therapies. I probably might have thought that there was no reason for the therapies and been less active in them. 

But I will say this, I got to see Kourtney develop and grow so quickly and because of that I knew what to expect. But it also went too quickly. With Kloey I get to slow down and appreciate my baby girl for so much longer than most people get to enjoy their babies. I like that I have my experiences with Kourtney to refer to when I need to know just how great Kloey's doing or to see what we should really be focusing on in her therapies. 

To sum up, I wouldn't want to switch them around. I learned first from Kourtney and because of that I don't feel the need to pressure Kloey to do the same things that I've seen Kourtney do. Because I know now that everything and everyone works in their own time... not our's. And I love that I can embrace that. 

My Klo

This was our final day of Down Syndrome Awareness month last year. I wanted to share it because I love the poem and the feeling in it. I'm also the world's crankiest person tonight and didn't want that to spill over in a blog post tonight. Much love!!!

The Final day of Down Syndrome Awareness Month...

To Kloey Alice:

I knew that you were there
yet, it did not feel quite real.
You grew and grew each day
but I did not know your soul.
Movements came all day and night
the connection was not there.
A thought of something extra
filled my heart with fear.

Each day I struggled endlessly
to know the girl inside.
I tried and tried
to no avail
to calm my racing thoughts.

One night you came.
I knew right then
you would not be the same.
As you struggled for your breath
I struggled with my pain.

You came into my arms
I looked into your eyes.
I was calm.
A smile formed.
But did not last for long.
I knew again
with certainty
you were what I feared.

A day passed by
without much thought
without much feeling
without much love.
I felt the need to run that day.
I felt the need to cry.
I felt that everything was lost.
I felt that life was done.

Then I saw you helplessly
laying on your own.
I grabbed your hand
and said your name
and cried for all your pain.

I fell in love that morning.
I fell in love with you.
I fell so deeply that despair
could never overcome.

I fall in love each day
with everything you are.
You teach so much of love
of being who
and what
you are.

Today I cannot possibly
imagine what I felt.
That day that was so numb for me
was fear and nothing else.

I do not fear you little one.
You do not have to worry.
I know that you have come to me
so that we can share this journey.

Thank you for joining us this month. I love you all!!!

two days

Of the two years that Kloey has been in our lives I have had two days with her that have been unbearable. Today was one of those days. I'm pretty sure she learned how to say no tonight. Great...

I mean, it's not like she's ever not adorable but today she was a bit of pill if I'm being honest. I'm nothing if not honest. This picture is actually from yesterday but this is what she was doing alllll day long. It was a bit exhausting. She'd cry for me to hold her. Then she'd cry for me to put her down. Then she'd cry for me to pick her back up. etc. etc. 

Sounds like any typical kid right? Right. She is learning all of these little games and how to get exactly what she wants. She'll be just as disappointed as Kourtney was to find out that we don't ever let them win those games. It's a sad day when they learn that. But they just keep trying anyway. 

She topped the night off with puking on my shoulder right after throwing a monster tantrum while I was putting her in the bathtub. I still can't decide whether she's sick or whether she just made herself super super upset to the point of throwing up. She was crying that hard. She was just sooo mad that I was trying to lay her down for bed. Goodness.

I have been lucky to have only had two of these days with her. I am counting my blessings because I sure can't say that I've only had two days like this with my first daughter!

Smiles

Can you believe that after this there are only ten more blog entries to go for Down Syndrome awareness month?!! Things have certainly been crazy 'round here but I have really been enjoying this.

The last couple of days I have been spending at home for the most part. Which means that I have much more time than usual to take tons of pictures of my sweet children. And Kloey learned something today....

SHE LEARNED HOW TO SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!!!!!

The closing of the eyes and everything. This is how she smiles for the camera. I was so happy!!! Every little thing is just so huge for us now. It truly is amazing how you start to celebrate every little accomplishment. And not just with Kloey, but with all of us! I love the love!!!


Time for picture overload!
We had family night in the girls' room tonight because honestly.... why wouldn't you? (wink)

Much love from the Hansen's

They are sisters meant to be

THEY ARE SISTERS MEANT TO BE

BY: STEPHANIE HANSEN

Into this family I came

without a warning to be sure.

My life would be much different 

than the one that came before.

A rocky start would test and prove

the love that would soon grow.

This journey now beginning

more complex than what you know.

A sister I was blessed with,

A sister I am to be.

Please let me show you about joy,

about friendship and charity.

For you I will do many things,

for you my heart is full.

I love you with a love so strong

nothing could make it null.

Never underestimate who I am inside.

As we grow together

our friendship cannot hide. --

A sister I am blessed with.

A sister I am to be.

I've seen just who you are

not how you might look differently.

I loved you with a love so strong

right from that first day.

I never wanted anything

but for you to stay.

We are sisters meant to be,

we are sent here to be one.

As sisters we will laugh and play,

as friends we shall be known.

And someday it will happen

that day will come too soon.

When you will feel the difference

that so many see in you.

I will learn that day, my dear

of what this journey is.

Our bond will not be severed.

This I lovingly promise.

Much love all!

Eyes

So, I didn't get to take pics of the girls like I wanted to today but I did get some nice shots of Klo Bow. And I have missed my camera so so so much!!!

Kourtney woke up in a rather foul mood today. And I do mean FOUL! A lot of our attention has been focused on her and not going insane. But she finally fell asleep so I got to spend some quiet time with Kloey and Sesame Street. It never gets old apparently. As I watched Kloey today I started thinking about lots and lots of things. Because that's how I pass my time... I think way too much.

Anyhow, I thought of how different she and Kourtney are, that's quite obvious. But then I thought of how similar they really are. Klo's temperament may be quite different from Kourtney's but there are other things that are so much alike! One thing that struck me today were their eyes. I know, they're shaped a bit differently but that's not what I mean in particular. Sure, they are physically similar, very much so, but I mean the sparkle in them.

I see in Kloey's eyes the same passion that I see in Kourtney's. A passion for mischief, absolutely. A passion for fun, most certainly. Also a passion for learning, for growing, and for understanding new things. They both love to discover new abilities, new boundaries, and new friends. They love to discover how much Mom and Dad will actually tolerate and how much they won't tolerate. They love to be adventurous and create stories and run (or crawl in Kloey's case) incessantly.

Kloey is a child like most children. She watches Sesame Street because she loves it, true enough, but I also see that sparkle of learning when she is watching. I see discovery, I see adventure, and sometimes there is just a hint of mischief. I think Kourtney had it absolutely right when she said to Kloey yesterday, "Kloey you are just so smart! You are like a GENIUS!!!!"

And she is.

Another cheat

This particular post from last year got many private comments from my viewers. So I am excited to share it again this year. As for it being soooo late, I completely forgot about my blog tonight. I've been working crazy long hours and then when I got home it was all about babies and bedtime and late night snuggles. Those are very important. So, here you are.

Have we been doing this for 11 days already?!!! FANTASTIC!!!

So, I want to know if anyone out there has any questions about Down Syndrome. As this is Down Syndrome Awareness month it only seems right to maybe answer a question or two... or seven from readers. It can be ANYTHING!!! So, leave a comment on here... or send me a message on facebook .

Today, let's focus on Klo Bow's sweet happiness. It's true, she is much happier than Kourtney was at her age... much happier.  She is so laid back that it makes me feel bad for being so high strung sometimes. Really, Kourtney and I are a lot alike in the fact that we can be pretty high maintenance, I'll admit it.  Heck, the child barely cried when she was born. She had more the attitude of... "Welp... I'm here. I'm with my mommy and daddy. It's a bit brighter than I expected. No use cryin'... can't change things." Yeah.... love this kid.

Now, let me clarify. Just because my Klo Bow is happy pretty much all of the time does not mean that all people/children with Down Syndrome are happy all of the time. (although, I've never come across one that wasn't unless they not only had Down Syndrome but something else as well) When Klo does cry it only lasts for about 30 seconds... not even that long. She was fussy yesterday though. And when I mean fussy I mean she was making a lot of small noises that other mothers would never dream of calling "fussy". But that is Kloey and I know her cues.  However, I had to keep telling her "no" and re-directing her when she wouldn't leave something alone the other day and she got thoroughly upset with me. She started crying and then banged her head into my chest out of frustration. Seriously, that hurt.

But, like I said, to say that all people with Down Syndrome are like this is probably not accurate. The simple truth is that every person in this world is an individual. They have their own spirit, their own personality, their own conscience. Down Syndrome is an extra chromosome... it's not defined as "an extra chromosome 21 that therefore creates clones throughout the world".... no, every person has their own personality... even those with Down Syndrome.

However, I do believe that the extra chromosome is an extra love chromosome. I've said in an earlier post that I've worked with Down's people for sooo long and they ALL seemed to possess extra love. Except one girl. She suffered from some mental illnesses (Down Syndrome is NOT a mental illness) that made her pretty unreachable. Anyway... What great teachers they have been for me of acceptance and love. My goodness... it's too bad that we don't all have an extra love chromosome... but we can fill that hole by spreading love and acceptance of ALL people.

Next time you're out and about, say hi to that woman that has Down Syndrome... Smile at the man in the wheel chair... Stand up for what is right... Put a little more love into your life and into the world!

Jordan is picking up my slack

    Howdy again, it’s Jordan Hansen J

    As you all know, I can be very blunt, I do it with the best intentions for my daughter’s sake, my family’s sake, and for the sakes of everyone who ends up on this page, Because I know you’re here for a reason.

    I wanted to tell everyone thank you all very much for reading my wife’s blog. She works very hard to express how blessed we feel. We hope that by reading these posts you are inspired with courage, hope, and a new desire to be like these wonderful people. There are many people out there who come across this milestone in their life, the milestone of raising, living with, or being a person with any kind of physical difficulty or handicap. If it’s one thing I want to get across to people it’s that there is absolutely no reason to fear. As long as things are taken one day at a time, step by step, the only thing that will happen is the growing of love, and pure joy among everyone. I’m not going to lie, it can break your heart to not be able to hear words yet from your 2 year old’s mouth.  Obviously there can be some physical challenges out there, but particularly in the case of a person with Down syndrome, the benefits certainly outweigh the minor few things that for no reason are brought up (Most of the time by our own mind). Ironically enough this fear is only ever brought about, or experienced by people who know nothing about, and have never spent time with a person with Down syndrome. I hope that you can imagine the heart wrenchingly wonderful moment when she was able to start signing for more, and when she gets thirsty. That moment, and hundreds of other insignificant (to other people) moments is what makes it all worth it.

    Fortunately, forgiveness is one of their best attributes. Unlike us, being judgmental of others is unheard of. As a parent however that is the thing we worry about the most, the thought that others will think that they’re less of a human being than they are. In all reality, when you spend time with these angels, the thought that their feelings may be hurt is my biggest fear. Like us, they will one day want a boyfriend, want to get married, and want to have a child of their own. This is the situation I personally dread the most. These things can happen, often, but sometimes they just don’t and we are going to have to be the one to break it to them. But like I said, they will understand and are forgiving of it. They will forgive you, the extra chromosome, and yes even themselves. That’s what’s so wonderfully different about them, is their willingness to push on, despite their limitations, and trials, the question is, is can we be just as strong for them?

      Thank you all very much again. Like I said, we are trying to get this word out, so please share this on your Facebook and wherever else, and comment to let us know you’re hearing us J

      God bless,

                         The Hansen’s. 

This community

So, being a parent of a child with Down Syndrome has helped me to discover that I am automatically part of a community. It is a beautiful and wonderful community. We can make friends wherever we go. Here is an example...

Yesterday while we were taking a break from Christmas shopping (yes, we are starting early this year because we normally start way too late). Anyway, we stopped to eat lunch and ended up sitting two tables away from a woman having lunch with her sister. I started to play peekaboo with her daughter and this little girl happened to have Down Syndrome. She was just so stinkin' cute and I kept fighting the immediate urge to go introduce myself to her mother. Jordan said, "just go over there, you would love it if someone did that to you". And I couldn't argue with that, the man was absolutely right.

So I journeyed on over there. I introduced myself and then explained that my little girl has Down Syndrome. Immediately this woman's face brightened with a huge smile and we were instantly engaged in a great conversation. By the time I left the table we had exchanged numbers and were planning a play date. When she left the restaurant she came over and hugged me. See? I LOVE being part of this community! A community where friendship is imminent, love is abundant, and good feelings abound.

This is life at its greatest!!!!

Every little milestone

To most this video may seem small and insignificant in terms of milestones. However, this occurred the other night here in the Hansen household and we were all ecstatic!!! You see, what this video shows is anticipation and imitation from our sweet Klo Bow. This is huge, as she has never ever done this before. It started the other day when she started to anticipate the end of a song and then put her hands up in triumph when the song ended and she was actually right! She was so proud of herself!!!!

The next night is when we captured this video. We noticed that she was muttering something in her room. (excuse her disheveled appearance... we were in the midst of bedtime routine when she quickly got away from us) When we came in to inspect we noticed that she was trying to say "yum yum yum" with Cookie Monster. I almost peed my pants with excitement!!! But really though.... I was that excited.

I am proud of my Klo. She is learning and growing so much. She now knows how to get onto the couch and then off of the couch by herself. She pulls to stand almost everywhere now. Next step is walking!!! Even her signing is getting so much stronger. She tells me when she wants to eat. She tells me when she wants milk, when she wants down, when she's all done. It's so wonderful. She's wonderful.

A look to last year

Another look to one of my favorite posts from last year. I hear some mothers say that they would change their children if they could. I don't believe in that. I would not change Kourtney or Kloey. Enjoy.


Let me start by saying that today is one of those days that really needs to be a productive sort of day. A day in which tasks are in desperate need of completion and chores are piling up in a neverending sort of way. A day where your mind is screaming, "Get your butt in gear sister! Your move is only a week away!!!" and even that revelation doesn't seem to do much in the way of motivation. Yes, today is that day. That day when I want to say "eh, whatever" and sit down with a bowl of chex muddy buddies (which I have on hand) and have a Gossip Girl marathon (don't judge). But, alas, it shall not be. SIGH

So, Kloey has learned a new trick. "Sharing" her food with us. Oh boy, was she excited to share her delicious grilled cheese sandwich with Mommy and Daddy. I was so excited! So so excited when she lifted her sandwich up for me to take a bite. It's something that I never really thought about with Kourtney. Kourtney just did it. Now, it is such a big deal. And it led me to this thought, "would I change you?". I've been asked that question about Kloey so many times from so many different people. If I had the chance, would I change her? Such a serious question deserves some serious thought... so I thought about it...

My answer is a resounding NO!!! No, I would not change her if I could. No, I would not take the extra chromosome away from her. No, I would not take the Down Syndrome out of Klo. It is for this simple reason; if you take the Down Syndrome out of Klo... then she is not Klo. She would be someone else entirely. Down Syndrome does not define who she is, true enough, but it will FOREVER be part of who she is! The moment that I knew for a fact that she had Down Syndrome the first thing I did was kiss her and tell her that I love her. The second thing that I did was promise to always and forever be there for her and protect her and fight for her. The third thing was a bit shocking for me at the time... but the third thing I did was look at her and realize one very important thing... I WOULD NOT CHANGE YOU FOR THE ANYTHING!!! YOU ARE MY BABY GIRL! YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness month... 12 entries to go!