Here I am...

EXPOSED.

This is a poem that I wrote for Jordan. He loves it and says that I should share more of my talents. So here goes... I guess you should tell me what you think...

TWO SOULS

Why must my heart be tangled so...

entwined so tight with yours?

Must I forever be so exposed,

so accessible to your touch?

My heart at once will dance

when your eyes gaze into mine.

The mind becomes my failing

at the moment of your embrace.

To kiss breathtakingly dominates

all reason.

Defenseless, my shields withdraw,

Captivation takes its hold,

passion runs over control.

Distrust evaporates,

uncertainty dissipates,

fear recedes its face.

Emotions come to one.

True love has clutched two souls.

To My Jordan On his 26th Birthday!

---Stephanie Hansen

Picture above: Jordan and Stephanie October 2007 (less than 2 months before we got married)

Fear

I was reading in this book that my mother sent to me called, Gifts:Mothers Reflect on How Children With Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives. It is a compilation of stories from women all over the place that have at least one child with down syndrome and how they feel about it and cope with it. One of the mothers shared a story about a couple who had their first baby. The doctor came in and informed them that the baby had Down Syndrome and esophageal problems. He was going to require surgery that had a mortality rate of 50%. He then said that children "like this" never amount to anything and become mere blobs so the surgery really would be for no reason. Basically it wasn't worth trying to save this child. AND THE PARENTS LISTENED TO HIM!!! They decided to not only not do the surgery but to withhold all nourishment. STARVE THEIR CHILD! The case went to trial and all the way up to the supreme court. Rather than say that the child had a right to go to a family that wanted to adopt it they ruled in favor of the parents' decision. The newborn baby boy was never given a name, never held tenderly by anyone that would love him, and never fed. He was put into isolation and starved. He died 7 days after birth. Because he was different he was killed. Are there really people out there that are so afraid of something/someone different that they would rather them die?!!

I know that this story is very sad and I do try to stay away from that on my blog but some things I feel just need to be shared. Of the women that get a positive prenatal test for down syndrome 80% of those women will choose to terminate their pregnancy. I found this extremely shocking.

My child is a joy. She reminds me a lot of my first daughter. Kourtney absolutely adores her little sister. She looks darling in her little clothes and we all enjoy dressing her up and putting flowers in her "hair". She calms at my touch and the sound of my voice. She eats like a little piggy sometimes. She has helped us to realize that different is good.. and pretty much the same. Different is not something to fear. Different is something to learn from. Take what is "different" and choose to grow from it. Choose to be the DIFFERENCE in a world that is so afraid of "different".

Life stinks???

Jordan texted me this evening while I was sitting in the hospital with our Kloe Bow. He asked how we were doing. Well, I was in a lot of pain and sick and Kloey was hooked up to tons of monitors with wires hanging off of her all over the place. So I told him that. Then he texted back something to the effect of "man your life kinda stinks". That got me thinking... I don't think my life stinks. In fact I love my life. I'm happy and my family is happy. We're so in love as a family that it's ridiculous :) Why would that stink? Not only do we have intense love for each other but we do for our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ as well. That is what life is about. We have our fair share of hardships and trials that's for sure. But we've learned to not say "Why me?". We just try to say, "Okay. This is what is going on right now. Let's deal with it in the best way that we know how and learn from this in the best way possible". When you do that it takes the stress out of things. We really try to read our scriptures and pray as a family. This seems to help us immensely. Jordan and I pray as a couple. Where would I be without prayer?!! It is my lifeline!!! Besides... we laugh together. What better medicine is there? When you know the meaning of life and you're doing everything that you can to be all that you can be then life will never "stink". Life will give you trials, heart ache, and tough times that's true enough. Just try to keep smiling. Things always get better. It's not worth getting angry. Anger takes too much energy. It's much easier to be happy. :)