Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Talking the "talk"

It happened..... Mom and Dad weren't careful enough (meaning Dad forgot to lock the door...!!!)... and she walked in............................................................


So.... that killed my mood! Bahaha!!! She opens the door, says "OH!!" and goes to shut the door as I look at Jordan and say, "YOU DIDN'T LOCK IT?!!!" To which she promptly responds by opening the door and in a very awkward voice proceeds to say, "I will lock it.." "No! Kourtney just go!" came out of my mouth by that point.... And then I couldn't stop giggling. Because anyone who knows me, knows that when things get awkward I giggle.... uncontrollably (4th grade spelling bee).

She walked in on us when she was 3 but had no idea what was going on, but this time I knew it was different. She knew. I knew she knew. Jordan was in denial..."we can just tell her we were sleeping".... yeah. He could handle the "how do babies get out of the tummy talk" but this was just too much for the man. He jumped right in the shower as I said, "We're gonna have to tell her". Coward.


I have to admit that I did hang out in the bathroom for a little bit mulling over what the heck I was going to say to an almost 6 year old about sex. I decided to be completely honest. Just tell her the basics and make sure I didn't make it awkward. After all, I want her to know that sex is not a "taboo" subject that she can never come to me about. For her to feel comfortable with me is super important. So I took the plunge...


She sees me. She looks away. She says, "I just need you to get me some food." Yep. This isn't awkward. Pray for strength. "Kourtney, we have to talk about what you just saw." "...okaaayy."

We sit down at the kitchen table and I have to remind myself multiple times to NOT BE AWKWARD!!! So we begin. I started by naming the anatomy. Use the real names folks, don't be afraid to tell them what they really are, say it with me, "penis and vagina"... very good.

Now that that was out of the way it was time to explain marriage. Yes, I am teaching my child to wait until marriage. I do not need "advice" or comments about this being "old fashioned" or whatever else you may think. This is how we're teaching them. Then I explain that when you're married it is okay for your husband to see your vagina...


She was quite shocked by this revelation! And then, all of a sudden, I knew how to say it! The penis and the vagina can come together and that is called "sex". "Sex?" "Yes. sex." BOOM! explanation given and accepted. "Kourtney, do you have any questions?..." "No... wait, yes.... can you get me some food." Ladies and gentlemen a round of applause please. Not only did I do it, but I did with grace!


Jordan can tell Joseph when he asks. I'll handle Klo Bow.