So it continues... 2wenty 8ight more

 Klo Bow and her daddy: 1 year old

She adores this man.

So, we are on day number 4 of our Down Syndrome Awareness month. I guess I want to focus on the relationship that my husband has with Kloey. If you can't tell, these two have a fantastic bond. Now, I've already shared my story of pregnancy and arrival. Let me share what I believe is a pretty accurate telling of his story.

When I started having feelings that Kloey would have Down Syndrome I spoke to Jordan about it. He was always very calm and collected and not worried. That kind of made me mad. Wasn't he supposed to be "freaked out" like I was? But he wasn't. Everyday I would say again, "what if..." and everyday he would reply with, "She's our baby. Would Down Syndrome change the way that we feel about our baby?" And then I would say, "I don't know. I just don't know". To which Jordan always replied, "I know you. I know what kind of mother you are. You would NEVER let anything change the way that you feel about your child".  Is this man a rock or what??? Although I do believe that he had some anxiety about it. I did catch him reading up on Down Syndrome while I was pregnant. He asked me a lot of questions about the people that I used to work with. What they were like, etc. I have always been around people with disabilities. Jordan did not grow up around them but has always had a love for them.

So, fast forward to when Kloey Alice Hansen was born. I knew immediately that she had down's but I was in denial as the test results wouldn't come back for a few days. Jordan knew and he tried to prepare me for the test results in the most tender way that he could. When I would start explaining why I thought that she didn't he would listen patiently while averting his eyes. Then he would say, "Stephanie, I think we need to be prepared. I think she may have it". He was in love with our baby instantly. While I was waiting for the storm cloud to move from above my head, he was holding everyone up.

It only took one day for me to realize that I was so madly in love with my baby, not even a full day. She wasn't in the room with us. I didn't get to start bonding with her right away. Jordan would watch us, me and Kloey, and I knew that he was happy. But, he was worried. It was just as hard for him as it was for me to see our baby going through so much. He hated seeing her in that incubator. He hated seeing her with an oxygen tube. He hated them poking her sooo many times everyday. He hated seeing her hooked up to so many wires. He just wanted to take her home. He wanted to protect her. He wanted her to know that Daddy was there, and everything was going to be okay.

Jordan answered the phone when the doctor called with the test results. No matter how prepared he thought he was I know the news came as a shock. I know because I watched his face fall when the doctor said it. I couldn't hear the doctor but I watched Jordan's face and I knew. And in that moment, his love for our baby grew so much more. His love for me grew so much more. His love for our family grew so much more.

When we got home everything took quite a bit of getting used to. Once I knew that Kloey definitely has Down Syndrome, a lot of the storm cloud passed away from me. But, Jordan started struggling when we got home. I don't think that he struggled with the diagnosis. I think that he had postpartum depression. He would sleep for long periods of time. He would sit on the couch and stare off into space. He wouldn't want to eat. He didn't want to talk. And he never wanted to hold the baby. I have never seen my husband do ANY of those things. I recognized what it was right away and I encouraged him to start talking to me. Eventually, he opened up and started releasing his feelings out into the open. It took a couple of weeks, but my husband did  come back to me, so to speak.

Like I said before, Kloey loves her daddy. And her daddy adores and loves her! He shares in her triumphs and laughs at her silliness. He loves to watch her sleep and tries to help her in every way that he can. My daughters are so very blessed to have this man as their father. Such a hands on dad is not extremely common. His family is his life. Like he said, "Down Syndrome will not change the way we feel about our daughter". I love him.