Remember to SmILe

Life with two children.... ==Crazier than I ever knew that it could be!!!

For starters... my children are amazing. They have the ability to make me love everything about life. You know, that feeling of "Aaaahhhhh.... I love my beautiful, sunshiney, rose smelling, glorious, wonderful fantastical life". The feeling that makes you want to run to the top of a hill and start singing the Sound of Music. Yeah, that one.

Oooon the other hand. They have the ability to make me loathe my life. You know that feeling of "What the he*& was I thinking? I want to go back to the days when I was single, could sleep all day, and run away whenever I wanted to!" This is the feeling that makes you want to either a) Crawl into bed, throw the covers over your head and will it all away or b) call your sister, inform her that you are coming to kidnap her from what must be an equally hellish experience, run to a beach, and enjoy complete silence. Just two sisters joined together by the common insanity of motherhood with a couple of good books. Yep. That's the feeling.

Moving on. Kloey sleeps. For the first time in almost 3 days. She is not a child to just scream and cry the way she has been for the past few days. I just didn't understand it. She was constantly wanting to nurse and then immediately crying when she was done. I just didn't understand what was happening. Then her bowel movements stopped completely. Well, I'm no dummy. Breastfed babies are supposed to poop a ton. And normally she would be dirty at every diaper change. I have been trying so hard to exclusively nurse her. I thought we were doing a great job. How in the world does my milk supply just dry up?!!! This doesn't seem fair at all. So, we started giving her the pumped breastmilk from the freezer mixed with a bit of formula. VOILA!!!! She is satisfied and sleeping. This completely breaks my heart. I've been waiting and waiting for my milk to come back in. She went 15 hours without nursing because I was waiting for my body to work its magic. After 15 hours all I got out was 4 ounces. That was at 9:30 this morning. It is now 2:30 and nothing more has come in. I even changed my diet to be more milk enriching. Oh well. The most important thing is that she is fed and happy. That's what we need her to be. I suppose some sacrifices must be made. .... I cried all night long.
Kourtney.... oh Kourtney. What can I say? She definitely is an incredible big sister. When Kloey is crying she runs over to her and says, "I know baby, I know" and attempts to soothe her by shoving her binky in her mouth. Fabulous. She is always loving on her, kissing her, wanting her near. It is so sweet.

On the other hand when Mommy needs to take care of the baby it is time to act out. We are trying to potty train. The only time she has an accident is when I'm feeding the baby. Geez a lou!!! I can understand though that this is a HUGE adjustment for her. She is three and she is definitely testing limits and boundaries. It's frustrating for me but healthy for her. She talks in complete sentences now. She dances like a ballerina all over the house. Dora is her homegirl ;) She sings very well. She loves Tangled and America's Got Talent. And she looks forward to our school time at home. I love this sweet girl of mine.

One thing is for certain. Life is soo super crazy. But I know that if I remember to smile and have fun life can be more than just something that I need to get through. It can be wonderful, brilliant, and lovely. One smile can start to change your entire day, your whole outlook on things. When you want to hide under the covers and cry... just really try to take a moment... one fleeting moment.. for a smile :)