1 week & one/2

Oh do I miss my husband!!!! It has been a week and a half since we last saw each other. I don't like it. I'm done now. I want to see him. I need him. Okay, now that that's out of the way.

I'M TIRED! I am 31 weeks pregnant as of yesterday... let the extreme fatigue and no sleeping begin. Oh man! I just can't sleep. And, I have this overwhelming fear that something is going to be wrong with my child. I didn't have that when I was pregnant with Kourtney. It's freakin' me out!!! The humidity is making my feet swell. I look like a cow. And everyone here wants to treat me as if I'm broken instead of pregnant. I've had to say several times to several different people, "I'm pregnant... I'm not broken." Oy!

Kourtney is having a fantastic time with her cousin Alicia! I am so happy for this. She has no one to play with in Utah. I don't know how I'm going to tear her away from my family all over again. That is going to be hard. Today is the first day that I've thought that I'm ready to go back. That's only because my husband is there. I actually cried the other day when I really realized that when I went back I'd still be going to Provo. I cried. and cried. and cried. Then I had to snap myself out of it. But that doesn't make me like it any more.

I got told a hundred times at my friend's wedding (in which I was the maid of honor) that I was a skinny pregnant woman. HA! Funny. But hey! I'LL TAKE IT! Kloey moves constantly... like allll the time. Never stops. It's true. Crazy. Kourtney's naps are getting messed up. Nice. My madre is spoiling the heck out of her. The day after we got here she took us shopping for some sandals for little miss. I was thinking family dollar or some place like that. Nope. We went to Shopko. We found really cute adidas sandals...adidas... my mom just HAD to get them for her. Granted, they were on sale... but still kind of pricey ya know. So I thought Okay we've got some sandals, we can go. No no. We needed another pair. LOL! I mean really! This woman was having the time of her life. Kourtney walked out of there with a new Princess ball for outside, adidas sandals, and princess sandals that light up. I'm pretty sure that was something else but I can't think of it.

We've gone out to eat. To feed animals. To Going Bonkers (a huge indoor play thing). Kourtney is having a blast!!! That's not to say that I'm not... I'm just really tired :) When I don't sleep well it's hard to feel up to anything... just feels like I'm walking through a cloudy haze all day. It sucks. But I do love to see my family.

We went to a playgroup with church friends at the park the other day. There were twin girls that were about exactly Kourtney's age. They were there with their grandma. One of them came right up to me when she saw me and wanted me to hold her. Now, kids generally are attracted to me but this was different. She snuggled right onto my shoulder and wouldn't let go. Her grandma came over and apologized but, of course, I said it was absolutely fine. I'm no stranger to things like that. Then, her sister started clinging to me... and I started to think something was a bit weird. I wasn't weirded out or anything... it was just different. So, she comes over to me when both of them are attached and starts to explain. Their Mom and Dad lived in Utah. Their Dad (this woman's son) was going to school while Mom stayed at home. Then, one day, out of the blue, Mommy decides she doesn't want to be a Mommy anymore. Oh boy. She leaves. Now what? He moves to Quincy to finish school so that his family can help with his children. They last saw their Mom in January. The reason she felt such a strong need to explain... because this whole they were running up to me and saying, "Mommy! Mommy!" What could I do. I just answered them and snuggled them and played with them. And I almost cried. My daughter was off playing with friends and didn't seem to think anything of it. They would not let me out of their sight. And when we left they tried to follow. Their grandma stopped them but then they were yelling "Bye Mommy". I wanted to look at them and say, "If I was your mommy I would NEVER leave you!" HOW SAD!!! Goodness.

Kourtney asks for Daddy at night. But we've been able to skype with him several times and that helps. He puts on monkey puppet shows for her. She laughs her head off! He is a great Daddy!!! We miss him sooo much. I may hate Provo but if that's where he is then that's where I'm going back to. But I won't live there forever. Just until school is done and then it's ... GET ME THE H-E-L-L OUT OF UTAH!!!!

Until next time :)