But what are the first steps....

Bringing Kloey home was a challenge. I was incredibly overwhelmed by her diagnosis and I was incredibly intimidated by the oxygen tank and sat monitor. I remember those first couple of months of incredible anxiety and constantly waking up to make sure she was still breathing. We were very tired to say the least.

I think we were caught in a whirlwind of uncertainty and endless information and advice. Two weeks after she was born the therapists were contacting us, wanting to start right away. I thought, "therapy? That's crazy. She's only two weeks old, what could they possibly work on?" It began with evaluations, tests, and scores for my newborn. I didn't think much of it. Do you know why? Because that time was a little bit numb for me. 

But there was another side to my emotions and it's much happier. I absolutely adored my daughter. Was I crushed? Yes. Was I overwhelmed? Absolutely. Was I scared? I was terrified. But she was literally the BEST baby in the world. Kloey just emanated love and a sense of calm. If I was holding her I could feel so much love around me and I knew that somehow, eventually everything was going to be okay, that it would all be right in the end. I knew that I wasn't afraid of her. And I knew that I was completely in love with her. 

Do you know she was my only baby that took to nursing like she'd been doing it forever? Seriously. We had an amazing breastfeeding experience, she and I. She slept through the night from six weeks on. Now, my other two were frustrating nursers; we had a difficult time. They also did not EVER sleep through the night in their first year of life. It took our oldest four years to start consistently sleeping through the night. Geesh! 

I loved being around my little baby Kloey. I loved holding her, sleeping with her in my arms, nursing her, watching her sleep, just everything. Because when I looked at Kloey I was really looking at perfection.