Hey All!!!! It's October and you know what that means..... DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS MONTH!!!! This month I will post something new every single day in honor of down syndrome awareness. My hope is to answer questions, raise awareness, and break down barriers.
Let's start with a very, very touchy subject... Be excited.
Last year I had the opportunity to speak with a mother who had recently gotten a positive prenatal down syndrome diagnosis for her child. This was to be her sixth child. She shared her story on a social media site with other expectant mothers and what she said is nowhere out of the ordinary. She and her husband decided that, with this diagnosis, they were going to terminate the pregnancy. She was 26 weeks along I believe.
The other mothers started to praise her for her courage and good sense towards her unborn child. They were saying things such as, "You are such a brave mama", "that was the best thing you could have done for that child", "don't worry, you'll keep trying and you'll get it right next time". ..."you'll get it right". "brave mama". "best thing for that child". These phrases resonated in my mind and I was so sorry for all of these people that believed what they were saying. And I was angry.
I knew that my child was GRATEFUL for having life. I knew that I was brave for giving her life. I knew that I had already "gotten it right" with her. So, anyone who knows me knows that I couldn't keep quiet on this matter. With as much sensitivity as I could muster, I decided to send her a private message. It went something like this:
Hi. My name is Stephanie and I have a 3 year old daughter who has down syndrome. I know that it can be a scary diagnosis and that there are a lot of ideas and stereotypes about children with this diagnosis but let me tell you a little bit about my Kloey. She is the most lovable person I have ever met in my life. Every morning my life lights up at the sight of her early morning happiness and smiles. She plays, eats, sleeps, laughs, has favorite foods and shows, just like any other child. She has so much worth. I'm sorry that you felt that you needed to abort your baby, please just know that I am here for you if you have questions.
Something close to that.
She sent me a message back:
Hi. Thank you so much for that message. I have been have conflicted emotions since I made my decision. Your daughter is beautiful and I wonder what my little one would have been like and how my life would have changed.
She regretted her decision. She wanted to meet her child. But her child was gone, simply because of an extra chromosome. I am not trying to be insensitive here, I am simply sharing our conversation and the before and after of this mama's emotions and thoughts on the matter.
My goal here is to eliminate this idea of "Diagnosis=lesser life". It simply is not the case. Diagnosis=lots of emotions and a different plan, not any less of a life. If I can change one mind out of the over 90% who decide to terminate after a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, then I have done my job.
Be excited. It's Down syndrome awareness month.
My name is Stephanie. Welcome to my blog! A blog that keeps up with my life as a stay at home mother to two beautiful little girls. My youngest daughter, Kloey, has Down Syndrome. As this is something that is pretty big in my life, I like to write about it. All children are a blessing. Plain and simple. This blog is here to show just that. Much love. And happy reading.
1 comment:
Oh I'm so excited to have posts everyday again! And I'm so grateful for all the wonderful information you share with us about your family! Also, I'm really glad you said something to that mother. It takes courage to stand up when others are sitting down. And with that courage, I know little Kloey, will have such a blessed life with her family. She is a joy and such a sweet person! A person, folks! I have known nothing but love and cuddles from her! She came running up to me saying, "Hi!" and waving so enthusiastically when her family had come to visit! I remember seeing her older sister shying away in the corner, even though I'd known her since birth! And once Kourtney saw me with Kloey she lit up and ran over to me as well! It's so beautiful to see how Kloey just loves! She doesn't have to think, "Gee...what they will think of me?" Or, "Should I go and say hello?" She just bounds over and does! And I for one, am MOST grateful that she IS HERE. Her parents and siblings and extended family are most wonderful for supporting and loving her! So, to those who are scared, and frightened save that baby! They are precious! Each are a child of God! It doesn't matter that she is without a chromosome, God chose that she should be that way and it's a beautiful thing to see. "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
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