My Klo is an escape artist. Oh, is she ever!!! She absolutely LOVES to be outside. She loves taking walks. She loves playing at the park. And she LOVES TO RUN AWAY FROM ME!!! Not everyone, mostly me.
You see, Klo has an endless desire to stress me to the max. She'll run right into the street. She'll run right up to a dog. She'll jump into a stream. Stresses me out.
Here are some of her escape tricks:
1. Be unfailingly adorable and full of sweetness so as to build up a wall of trust and affection.
2. Practice your ninja-like silence. If you're always quiet, they'll be less suspicious when the opportunity to escape arises.
3. Memorize their patterns. When do they tend to leave doors open? When are the yard gates open? Typically while bringing in groceries or taking out the trash. Duly noted.
4. Learn how to walk and run on any surface without it hurting the soles of my feet.
5. Watch them. Don't let them see that you're watching them, but watch their every move.
6. Inch your way ever so slightly to the escape portal of choice.
7. Make sure that pesky baby isn't in the way.
8. If said baby has made an appearance this is the time to push.
9. Wait until the parentals are distracted (i.e. the baby cries after being pushed; Mom is explaining to Dad why she bought the expensive spaghetti sauce [don't know what his deal is, that woman's food hasn't ever disappointed him. I feel its proper place is face down on the floor that Dad just mopped])
10. Slide silently out the portal and down the stairs.
11. RUN!
12. Laugh uncontrollably as the wind hits your face and the air fills your lungs. You're FREE!!! You're FREE!!!! You're....
13. BLAST!!!! Foiled again. WHY MUST THEY BE SO FAST?!!!
14. Hatch a plan for the next portal escape.
15. This time... dupe the big sister into unknowingly concocting a plan with .
16. SUCCEED
Seriously. Girl finds her thrill in giving me panic attacks. Yeah.
.....We're working on that.
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