Monday, October 5, 2015

A post from my first year of DS awareness

The Final day of Down Syndrome Awareness Month...

To Kloey Alice:

I knew that you were there
yet, it did not feel quite real.
You grew and grew each day
but I did not know your soul.
Movements came all day and night
the connection was not there.
A thought of something extra
filled my heart with fear.

Each day I struggled endlessly
to know the girl inside.
I tried and tried
to no avail
to calm my racing thoughts.

One night you came.
I knew right then
you would not be the same.
As you struggled for your breath
I struggled with my pain.

You came into my arms
I looked into your eyes.
I was calm.
A smile formed.
But did not last for long.
I knew again
with certainty
you were what I feared.

A day passed by
without much thought
without much feeling
without much love.
I felt the need to run that day.
I felt the need to cry.
I felt that everything was lost.
I felt that life was done.

Then I saw you helplessly
laying on your own.
I grabbed your hand
and said your name
and cried for all your pain.

I fell in love that morning.
I fell in love with you.
I fell so deeply that despair
could never overcome.

I fall in love each day
with everything you are.
You teach so much of love
of being who
and what
you are.

Today I cannot possibly
imagine what I felt.
That day that was so numb for me
was fear and nothing else.

I do not fear you little one.
You do not have to worry.
I know that you have come to me
so that we can share this journey.

Thank you for joining us this month. I love you all!!!

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