Continuing with our Down Syndrome awareness month. Let me just say, I feel wonderful that they have an entire month dedicated to this. I love my Kloey Alice. I love her sooo much that it's overwhelming. But before I had a child with down syndrome, I worked with people with disabilities. One summer I worked as a camp counselor at a camp for people with disabilities. It was one of the best summers of my life! All people are special. All people deserve happiness. All people deserve to be loved.
So, today I wanted to tap in on some reality. I want to share some real feelings of mine. While the feelings of fear and the feelings of unknown have largely gone away, there are still concerns and worries that I have. Please do not judge me for these. I am just being very real.
What will happen when someone calls Kloey a retard? I know that will happen. How will Kourtney react? How will I react? How will Jordan react? How will Klo Bow react?
What if her teachers don't expect anything from her?
Will she receive the best education possible?
Children at school flock around Kourtney so much that she gets overwhelmed by her own popularity (really, I've seen this) will it be the same for Kloey?
Will children shun and reject her because she looks a little bit different?
Why do people stare? I wish they would stop staring.
Stop saying you're sorry to hear that Kloey has Down Syndrome.
Stop saying "poor baby" when we tell you she has Down Syndrome.
We've been working for so long on this one milestone... why isn't she getting it? what am I doing wrong? Why isn't she progressing?
When will Kourtney notice that Kloey is "different"?
When will Kloey know that she is "different"?
I desperately hope that this blog is reaching someone. I hope that this is helping someone... anyone. Anyway, back tomorrow. Much love!
2 comments:
I'm about to unload some honesty here, so brace yourself. ;) I think the fear in the interaction with persons who have disabilities is simply the fear of wondering if they understand. Which sounds stupid, right? Well, for instance there's a person in town that's always been in a wheelchair his whole life. He's really hard to understand, but he's literally ALWAYS happy. I mean seriously. I cannot tell you enough that this man is so happy! Why? Why would he be so happy? What is it that constantly makes him smile and joke around while the rest of us are grumpy and crabby? I HAVE NO IDEA!!! BUT I LOVE IT! I FINALLY got the courage to talk with him the other day here at work and literally LOVED it. I didn't know what to say, but that's pretty true with any conversation I start. I like to hear about the other person more than myself and so it's a mixture of me attempting to find that right question to get them to spill their beans so I can just listen. So, it's not that he was different, but it's that I wanted to know more about him. So, I asked him how he was and he told me, "Goot!" (obviously it he means good, but he's again not easy to understand.) I asked him why he was here, "Because..." and he grinned from ear to ear. So, I perused more into because why? "Rooke." Again HUGE smile. That's his therapist. No the name isn't "Rooke" but for privacy's sake we'll go with that. Then I asked him silly pointless questions like, how's the weather, blah, blah. He just played along smiling the WHOLE TIME. Let me tell you that SMILE is so CONTAGIOUS! I couldn't help smiling and laughing right along with him. He calls our receptionist "old lady", which is hysterical because she's anything BUT an old lady. He loves to give her heck whenever he comes in. I actually got him to say that he loves her, and I highly doubt that is wasn't true. He has genuine love for everybody. Now the thing that bothers me is that it took me 2 visits to try to talk with him. Why did I need to wait that long to build up courage to simply speak to him? I could make excuses like I was trying to listen to his speech so I could better understand him. Or I didn't have time to go out of my office and say hi. But I think it was because I was afraid to talk to him because I didn't know how. WHAT THE HECK??!?!?!! I feel so ridiculous that that is why I didn't talk with him. Now I chat it up like we're old pals, but seriously why? I think that even with experience with persons who are disabled I still struggle with how to approach them. Now don't go thinking I don't struggle with how to approach "normal" people either, because aren't we a WHOLE other ball park?? I mean heaven forbid we insult or say something that might offend. Need I say more? Ugh, but regardless, I can say that it's hard to figure out the right ways to do things with ANYBODY, special or supposedly normal. We have to come out of our comfort zones to talk with people, which isn't always easy. Then we have to figure out what we're going to say that could create a conversation. (Again, I might be only talking about me here, since I'm not going to lie speaking to others isn't ALWAYS a strong point. Steph you might not think I'm an introvert (because with you I'm NOT! HA!) but any interaction with others I'm not familiar with is a STRUGGLE for ME! HOW SILLY!!! I KNOW!!! But I fear looking ridiculous, or being seen as not smart. I have fears like everyone else that I have to get over to just start talking. The point of me unleashing these thoughts is maybe to help others realize we're not saints those of us who talk with special needs persons. We're just regular ole human beings taking a step out to say hi, or how are you?
(the rest of my comment) I love little Ms. Klo Bow just as much as her sweet sister Kourtney. I'd do anything for those girls, ANYTHING. But I know I still struggle with how to interact with Klo. I don't know what to do. Might be because I don't have kids or because I'm not around her all the time. But when I am, can I just let you all in a little secret? ALL my fears ARE GONE around her. SERIOUSLY. I'm not joshing you here. I hold her or see her and BAM! Just like that I don't care if I say something wrong or do something ridiculous because I'm there to love on her! I'm there to try and weasel out another giggle or smile. I'm there to snuggle her sweet little snuggly self! I toss her up and down in the air just like Kourtney. I kiss her sweet face and tickle her just like I did with Kourtney. I get to experience her personality and her traits just like I did with Kourtney. Do you see something here? She's not really any different than Kourtney!!! I'm still her Auntie just like I AM Kourtney's! Klo is different, there's no doubt, but that difference is what's going to make her into something AMAZING. I just know it! I have great hopes and ambitions that she will touch many lives by just being her. So, don't try to over-think things folks, just do. Say hi, smile, give a care about somebody. Don't be afraid, what harm is there in saying hello?
Now hug and kiss your sweet babies for me! LOVE YOU ALL!
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