Children are GIFTS

Here we are back to the Christmas season. A season of giving, baking, singing, and parties. This wonderful Christmas season always has me thinking about what gifts I will buy, how I will wrap them, who I will give them to. Of course, I put a little thought into the gifts I might receive as well. But this year I started to think of what I have ALREADY been given. Gifts that many people have chosen not to receive, gifts that some people cannot receive, and gifts that so many people take for granted. Those gifts are my children.

Some of you may read this and say, "What?!! Your children?!! I can't have children. They would just drive me crazy". You're right. There would be times when you would go completely nuts trying to figure out the best ways to love them, protect them, and teach them to be wonderful people. And there are of course, other ways that your sanity will be tested. You will forget what it's like to sleep soundly. They will puke on you. They will poop in the bathtub (or the floor or anywhere else for that matter). They will literally destroy everything in their reach and get peanut butter or any other type of stickiness all over your furniture, your clothing, and your floors. As far as the mother goes.... your body will never be the same (sorry). Your friends will have to be weeded out to only the most loving and understanding. And if you're a party-er you should kiss that lifestyle goodbye to provide the life that your child needs. 

This all sounds horrible if you're looking at this from anything but a parent's point of view. Actually when I was 18 years old I decided that I didn't want to have children. Solely because I didn't want to "ruin" my body. Yes, 'tis true. I was worried about getting "fat", stretchmarks, swelling, and never having my body be the way it was at that point in time (my 18 year old body). There are many reasons that people talk themselves out of having children. They need to wait until they have more money. They need to really focus on their career. They don't want to ruin their social life. They'll just get a dog (or cat, etc). They value their sleep. And on and on.

But I was wrong. Kourtney and Kloey, they were totally worth my body never being the same again. They are worth the sleepless nights (just had one with Klo last night). I have to mop everyday and I spend a good portion of my life fishing food out of their hair and mine. I can't even tell you how many times I have to repeat myself until I'm blue in the face. I have been puked on and pooped on. It's an adventure for sure but not one that I'd like to embark on again. Yet, I probably will. Because they are WORTH IT!!!

I truly believe, deep down in my heart that without the love of children you can never fully comprehend pain... but you can never fully comprehend the true meaning of HAPPINESS. The pain part is simple. Just the act of childbirth is agonizing. But then what comes next? We see the pictures of it all the time. It's silent. It is profound. It is heartwarming. It is love in the largest amount that you can think of and then multiplied by 3 billion. 

This love is completely unexpected and sweeps you right off of your feet. And it doesn't stop with the first child. No No! It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Their smell, their nose, their wittle toesies, the way they eat, how they sleep. All of it! You love all of it.

I've written some crazy posts about sick nights with my kids, my older daughter learning how to argue with me, my ups and downs with Kloey. But let me share something with you about what I feel every single day of my life regardless of vomit, feces, attitude, or a two year old who is very much not two years old at all. 

It is this; a happiness and pride that threatens to burst my heart straight open if I don't get some sort of control over that madness! When Kourtney spins and twirls and sings I know that she is so happy, and then the bursting starts. When she randomly tells me that I'm the best mommy ever and that she loves me so much, there's that bursting. When she feels comfortable in our relationship to tell me every little detail of every feeling she's had throughout the day, I know that she trusts me, and the swelling and bursting starts all over. 

When Kloey learns a new sign and couples it with its meaning perfectly, the pride loses control! When she crawls over to me and reaches her arms up and proceeds to snuggle deep into my neck then pat my back affectionately, I know what true love feels like. When she cries after I leave the house just barely because I just want to go out with my husband, I turn around and give her another gigantic hug because I know that she believes that she just can't bear to be without me for even a minute.

You nurse them and change them and love them and feed them. They grow and learn and watch and melt your heart every single day, every single moment. This, my friends, is a bond beyond comparison. I check on them three times a night to make sure that they're warm and cozy, and also just to kiss their sweet, sleeping faces. They are my entire world. You may think that makes me a crazy housewife that's been duped into thinking whatever it is her husband makes her think. But my husband will tell you any day that I very much have a mind of my own.

Motherhood was hard for me at first. I felt like my life had just been ripped out of my arms and given to this 7 pound human that I was now, suddenly, responsible for. But how foolish I was! Now I see that when they handed me that 7 pound human... they had not ripped my life from me, but handed my life to me.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!