Words wise

Hey there! LDS Mommy now has its own facebook page. You can like me here.

On to today's post. I have  been wondering and pondering on how best to approach today's subject. I've actually been thinking about it for more than a month. Normally I just spill it out. But this, I feel, is a bit more delicate. To me it is just common sense. But I have recently found that not everyone sees it as such. And that is the point of my pondering and posting about it. To raise a bit more awareness on using the word "retarded". A sensitive subject for sure.

The actual dictionary definition of retardation is: slowness or limitation in intellectual understanding and awareness, emotional development, academic progress, etc.

Retardation is an actual clinical diagnosis used for people that do have feelings. My daughter is, technically, retarded. That should not be such a derogatory term to use on her behalf. Because it is simply the clinical truth. Children born with Down Syndrome have some level, mild to severe, of retardation. So, yes, I find that word offensive.

Growing up, my parents always taught me that this word was never to be used and flung around without second thought. God love them for their wisdom. How wonderful a preparation for me today. When I was a child I didn't quite understand what the big deal was. So one day I decided to use it. Well, I used it in front of my uncle, my dear uncle who is mentally retarded. Maybe I thought that he didn't notice, or possibly that he wouldn't care. Quickly I learned what the big deal was. Right after I said it he said, "hey! don't say that word." and he looked so incredibly hurt. I will never forget that. 

The fact of the matter is this... there are so many other words in the dictionary that you can use to describe someone who might be acting dumb, silly, goofy, sluggish, ludricous, idiotic... just pick one. 

My daughter is mentally retarded. My uncle is as well. I have two others, very dear to me, that are as well. Would you say, "that's gay" in front of a gay person. No. It is offensive. So just don't say it at all. There are so many more examples that I could give on that front but I think you get the idea. Don't sit in the same room as my child and I and fling around the word retarded. It just simply isn't nice.

On another point: Kloey IS mentally retarded. When I say that do not be appalled. Many people, when I approach them about the use of this word, are just shocked that I would call my daughter something so offensive. I've even had people tell me that I need to check my facts because that is not what the word means. Really people? Really? Just go buy a dictionary. You're using it in the wrong way, not me. Please do not attack me when I gently attempt to correct you. Never would I approach anyone in an accusatory or judgmental way. We all slip up and say insensitive things without realizing or thinking about it. This is dear to my heart and honestly, I never want my daughter's feelings to be crushed when that word is being flung around so carelessly... especially by those that she should feel completely comfortable around. 

I hope that I touched base on this in the most tactful way that I could. Really, I do not want to hurt feelings or point fingers. Awareness just needs to be raised. Next time you are tempted to use that word in a demeaning way, just stop and think... then CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY.