Christmas colds

Yes. That's right. We went to the in-laws for Christmas... came home with a stinking cold! So, as to the lapse in posts, that is why. We thought we were all better and then Kourtney wakes up last night with a fever. Poor thing. She's just like her mother in that she cannot sleep when she is sick. It's a curse I tell ya'. No fun at all. But she has been fever free all day long and we eventually decided to give in to her pleas to go outside to play. In the snow. In the cold. In Rexburg. Needless to say that it didn't last very long. But we had mounds of fun all the same.

Enjoy.

 Doesn't look like much... but they each had 11 presents. I thought that was perfect!

 Kloey's first time in the snow.

 SNOW ANGELS!!!

And her hat fell off.

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!!!

For who You Are

Kloey is 16 months old. For anyone that gets annoyed when mothers use the months and not just plain ol' years to tell their child's age... it makes a BIG difference at this time in their lives. What they do month to month is sooo incredibly different. So yes, I use months.
This month for the first time since we've locked eyes, I feel like I have finally met my daughter. Does that confuse you? It probably should. Since she's been born Kloey has been tender, sweet, full of love, just genuinely angelic. Honestly, that is pure truth. No gushing mama business there. It's fact. This time with her has been superb and pretty "chill". But she wasn't showing us any personality. Developmentally she hadn't reached that point yet, the point of discovering yourself. It's pretty basic to most... but it has taken her quite some time.

It started a few weeks ago with her discovery of the twin in the mirror. First: the "why hello there" look. Second: "You again...". Third: "What is this sorcery?". Fourth: "I gotta see this again". Fifth: "TO THE MIRROR!!!". She literally dives for it when she is in my arms. Oh, the giggles and chubby hand prints all over my bathroom mirror. But I love it! In all honesty it is MARVELOUS!!!

Next came the discovery of fighting sleep. She has NEVER done this. Oh goodness. I didn't know what was going on. Normally I just lay her down, give her a kiss, shut the door, and she's out for the night. A couple of weeks ago she decided she didn't wanna. So she let me know that she didn't wanna. That child SCREAMED! Granted, it was probably a whimper compared to most children's screams, but it was a Klo scream. Scared me to death I tell you! Sheesh! Now I know her game... but she isn't understanding the "cry it out" concept. It's warm milk and snuggles for that one.

And the fake crying. Oh, the fake cries. Anyone that has been around children in their life knows what I am referring to. But man oh man is it cute!!! The child has "cute" down to an art. Gets that from her father, I could never "cute" my way out of anything... probably not even to save my life. Jordan on the other hand... [insert eye roll]... yeah. The look of triumph and glee on her face when she wins you over with that fake cry == PRICELESS!!!

Then, she started to play games. Not a big deal to some. HUGE for us. I have been trying to get her to understand games... any games... for AGES. And now she does. Last night (fighting sleep night) she took her bib, pulled it over her head, and quickly pulled it down and giggled. I thought, "oh, it looks like she's playing peek a boo... what a coincidence.." and then she did it again, and again, and again. YAY!!! She WAS playing peek a boo. She got quite a kick out of that one. Her favorite game is one that she made up. I call it the "dive and snuggle". Basically she is sitting on my lap, facing me.. when she dives head first into my chest and snuggles into my neck, and then proceeds to burst into laughter. Cutest thing EVER!!! I don't understand the amusement she finds in it... but she definitely amuses me. I got that game on video... I will have to post it sometime.

All of this is so exciting to me for many reasons. Perhaps my favorite reason is that I can now see the child and not the Down Syndrome. How bad does that sound? Anyone that follows my posts knows that I adore this child. But this has been a struggle for me. To look at my child and want to see her for HER... not for her diagnosis. I have been so frustrated with myself... praying and praying that I would just focus on the sweet little girl... not the extra chromosome. Everyday it seemed that it was just a fresh sting. It was so hard for me to understand. If I love her, why can't I just let this go?

And then, it just happened. Three days ago to be exact. She started showing this bright, and colorful personality and I was so focused on that, on her, that I didn't think about Down Syndrome all day. As I was laying in bed I realized that I saw Klo for Klo. For who she is. For everything that I adore about her. I saw her through eyes that couldn't see a diagnosis. I saw her through eyes that were seeing her for the very first time. That day I grew even closer to my baby. And I have to believe that she did to me as well. Because there was no more wall. There was no more sting. There was just pure love. In that moment of realization my heart was so full of gratitude and relief that I nearly cried (but I was really tired). And for three whole days I have seen the baby. I have seen the giggles. I have seen the personality. I have seen the love. I have met my little girl.

 Nice to meet you little one.

12 Days of Christmas Givin'

So, here we continue our 12 days to Christmas countdown. Today's idea for giving: give to a stranger. We are going into town today and I figured, why not? When you see that person ringing the salvation army bell, maybe put a little more in than you normally would. Heck, if you're not a very smiley person normally why don't you try smiling at the people that you pass today? Just do whatever your heart leads you to do, just do it for someone that you do not know. Maybe we'll help an older lady with her groceries today... the sky is the limit! Get out there and GIVE!!!

Somehow she got hold of the box of cereal. So, naturally, she attacked! LOL AND.... she is now army crawling!!!!! yayyyy!!!!!

Twelve Days of Christmas Giving

That's right. Here we start the 12 days to Christmas count down. What is Christmas if it isn't about giving? So, from now until Christmas Eve we will be doing a blog post every day. Everyday there will be a new way and idea on what/how to give. I'm sure our lives will be greatly enriched through this adventure.

First day: Give at home.

This seems fairly easy, right? We always give at home. CHECK!

Hold on! Not so fast....
I mean give something that is normally very difficult for you. If you don't normally make a nice dinner, try it tonight. If you don't read a book to your kids, try it tonight. For me, I think that I will do something fun with Kourtney for at least 30 minutes tonight. It is hard for me to sit down and play with her. My imagination isn't the way it used to be. So, tonight that is what I'll do. What will you give at home?

Gordon B. Hinckley: Christmas means 'giving,' and the gift without the giver is bare. Give of yourselves; give of your substance; give of your heart and mind.

Today, I will give of my time to her!

Words wise

Hey there! LDS Mommy now has its own facebook page. You can like me here.

On to today's post. I have  been wondering and pondering on how best to approach today's subject. I've actually been thinking about it for more than a month. Normally I just spill it out. But this, I feel, is a bit more delicate. To me it is just common sense. But I have recently found that not everyone sees it as such. And that is the point of my pondering and posting about it. To raise a bit more awareness on using the word "retarded". A sensitive subject for sure.

The actual dictionary definition of retardation is: slowness or limitation in intellectual understanding and awareness, emotional development, academic progress, etc.

Retardation is an actual clinical diagnosis used for people that do have feelings. My daughter is, technically, retarded. That should not be such a derogatory term to use on her behalf. Because it is simply the clinical truth. Children born with Down Syndrome have some level, mild to severe, of retardation. So, yes, I find that word offensive.

Growing up, my parents always taught me that this word was never to be used and flung around without second thought. God love them for their wisdom. How wonderful a preparation for me today. When I was a child I didn't quite understand what the big deal was. So one day I decided to use it. Well, I used it in front of my uncle, my dear uncle who is mentally retarded. Maybe I thought that he didn't notice, or possibly that he wouldn't care. Quickly I learned what the big deal was. Right after I said it he said, "hey! don't say that word." and he looked so incredibly hurt. I will never forget that. 

The fact of the matter is this... there are so many other words in the dictionary that you can use to describe someone who might be acting dumb, silly, goofy, sluggish, ludricous, idiotic... just pick one. 

My daughter is mentally retarded. My uncle is as well. I have two others, very dear to me, that are as well. Would you say, "that's gay" in front of a gay person. No. It is offensive. So just don't say it at all. There are so many more examples that I could give on that front but I think you get the idea. Don't sit in the same room as my child and I and fling around the word retarded. It just simply isn't nice.

On another point: Kloey IS mentally retarded. When I say that do not be appalled. Many people, when I approach them about the use of this word, are just shocked that I would call my daughter something so offensive. I've even had people tell me that I need to check my facts because that is not what the word means. Really people? Really? Just go buy a dictionary. You're using it in the wrong way, not me. Please do not attack me when I gently attempt to correct you. Never would I approach anyone in an accusatory or judgmental way. We all slip up and say insensitive things without realizing or thinking about it. This is dear to my heart and honestly, I never want my daughter's feelings to be crushed when that word is being flung around so carelessly... especially by those that she should feel completely comfortable around. 

I hope that I touched base on this in the most tactful way that I could. Really, I do not want to hurt feelings or point fingers. Awareness just needs to be raised. Next time you are tempted to use that word in a demeaning way, just stop and think... then CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY. 

A milestone

How exciting it is when Klo Bow accomplishes something... anything... it doesn't matter what it is. This morning Jordan put her in her chair and gave her some chocolate chex (my kids are addicted). She ran out of said chex. (THE HORROR) So she hollered at me a couple of times but I didn't get the hint. Apparently my kid is neglected. But then I looked at her to see what the problem was and she looked straight at me, then down at her plate, then tapped the plate with her little bitty index finger, and smiled up at me. HOW STINKIN' CUTE IS THAT?!!! I swear I probably woke the neighbors with my cheers of sheer joy! What a wonderful moment for us.

Some might think, "what's the big deal, I don't get it?". The big deal is that my child communicated with me in a way that she has never done before. She knew EXACTLY what she wanted and figured out a great way to ask for it. She made her wants known and she made them perfectly clear. I could not have mistaken that finger tap for any other thing. It was as if she looked at me and said, "more chex, please". PRAISE THE HEAVENS!!! Sometimes I get discouraged and I start allowing myself to wonder; will she ever call me Mama; will she ever know Jordan is Dada; she's going to walk, right?; I'm teaching her to sign, why isn't she picking any of it up??? And those are totally natural feelings. Sometimes I feel as if other mothers must just be better teachers because many Downs babies are much further along than she is. But then, I have to always remind myself that Klo is Klo. She is not any other child. Therefore, it will never be fair to compare her to other children, even other Downs children, because she is her own person. It is okay that she is progressing at a slower rate. I don't want to mainstream her. I don't want to push her to be like everybody else. Because that is unrealistic. She is Kloey. She has an extra chromosome. In some areas she has much more than anyone else. And in other areas, she has just decided to take her time. And we all love her for exactly who she is. Besides, the little milestones wouldn't mean as much if we didn't have to work SO hard for them.

 Spaghetti and Christmas movie night at the Hansen's:
Kourtney decided to eat delicately....
Kloey had other ideas.

On a final note. We were invited to a playgroup today with some church friends. It was our first time and I was pretty excited to go... nervous too as meeting new people is always a bit nerve racking. Kourtney cried and whined for the first half an hour. Joy. She kept saying, "I don't want to share my toys... I don't like these friends... I want to go home to my Daddy". Imagine that in the most annoying, whiny, four year old girl voice and you've got a pretty good idea of what I was dealing with. These gals are super nice, so it's not like I had a huge reason to be embarrassed but come on, is that not annoying??? I don't care who you are... that's annoying. Eventually she warmed up and started having a fabulous time and that allowed me to actually join the adult conversation. I found that I was really enjoying everyone and feeling very welcome and that was very nice for me. They invited me to another play group and a girls' night out date. Yay! Then it was time to go home. As everyone is cleaning up we realize that two children are missing. Bet you can't guess whose kid was gone! That's right, MINE! Splendid. It's not like she hasn't done this before. She just runs around and hides or gets lost somewhere in the building and it takes about 2 minutes to find her. No worries, right? Wrong. We searched that building for 10 minutes and nothing! By this time me and the other mom (her little boy was the other kid missing) well, we're starting to freak out a bit. So, she goes outside and I start running around, checking every closet, bathroom, and speck of dust! 5 minutes later I hear someone shout my name. I turn the corner and there they are. She then proceeds to tell me, "they were outside by the road... the one that is always really busy". To which Kourtney replies, "we just wanted to take a walk". I was so scared and angry and relieved all mixed into one. I wanted to scold her, and I wanted to cry, and I wanted to hug her. So I did all three. Then the guilt set in. I'm the new one. It was my first time. And my kid and one of their's decides to run off. Great first impression, Steph. Fantastic. They were, of course, very sweet about it. But I was embarrassed, oh so embarrassed. The little boy had no coat or jacket on. Kourtney did. Luckily, I am still invited to the next playgroup and they have yet to kick me out of the girls' night date. WHEW. Seriously, scariest thing ever. I had to have a "kidnapping" talk with Kourtney. She just wasn't understanding (or caring about) the whole, "you can't go outside without Mommy or Daddy". Even when the danger of cars hitting her were thrown in there. Oh goodness. Gotta love my kid.

Singin' a Song

Kourtney absolutely looves to sing!!! This makes me extremely happy since I am a pretty big singer myself. Yesterday she was singing along to her Disney princess cd and was being quite creative with her words. Seeing as how she didn't know any of the words, she just sang "I don't know" to the tune of the song. I watch this video over and over, and it just gets funnier every single time. Be sure to watch to the very end, as the BEST parts are at the end. Much love! And Happy Monday!!!

By the way, she wouldn't let us record her. So, we had to be sneaky and just leave the camera turned on in the room.