sometimes i want to be a kid again
i hate wearing a neckbrace
my future scares me.... No plan ever feels like the right one
i hate that i'm poor and everyone around me pretty much isn't... or won't be in a year, and i still will be
i hate that my life is going nowhere, as of right now
sometimes, marriage is too hard
i wish i would have stayed/finished school in rexburg
i want to go back to school in rexburg
i don't want to go to provo
I love my husband, with all my heart, but sometimes I don't trust him with my future.... and that scares me, and makes me feel like a horrible person.
I think school is important... he thinks it's dumb
my child drives me crazy
i feel bad, because i know that this surgery has had a tremendous, stressful effect on all of us, and sometimes I just think about my pain
i don't read my scriptures enough
i take my neckbrace off when I'm not supposed to
i want jordan to go to school, end of story... that's what i want for MY life
i don't like unknown, unplanned futures... fly by the seat of our pants, let's see where life takes us.
i'm depressed, i think
i want a baby.... but we won't ever be able to afford a baby, we can't afford the one we have now.
my life is not all peaches.... and sometimes....
I get tired of smiling and pretending that everything is okay when i'm screaming inside.
I don't Know WHAT to do.... I'm stuck
God, help me!
2 comments:
I sympathize with you. I'm a go to school and I must have a plan kind of girl too. I'm lucky Jace is going to school and I got to finish. We worry about Jordan not going to school so I can't imagine how that feels for you. Maybe we all need to tag team him. I'm sorry that you neck hurts and everything seems hard. Let me know if there is anything I can do. We love you.
I love you Steph, and I totally sympathize with what you are saying. I know it's hard to do now but, Let go and Let God. I'm praying for you guys and I know that with your faith in God that you WILL get through this. I look forward to chatting with you tomorrow and I hope you try to stay positive even though right now, things feel very negative. =) Hang in there!
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