Fifteen

So there are fifteen more entries (including this one) until we finish up the month of Down Syndrome Awareness. Today I wanted to share a milestone. You see, we get excited about even the littlest things with Klo Bow. When she held her head on her own for the first time. The first time she deliberately looked us in the eyes. When she rolled over (that was HUGE). Everything takes a bit longer for Klo and that means that every little thing means that much more celebration! My goodness, when she started sitting up it was the best day ever!!! Now she can get in and out of sitting all on her own. But, that is not the milestone that I'm talking about...

I can't put the child down. Yes, she is in the clingy stage. Oh joy. She fake cries!!! Granted, it's the cutest fake cry that I've ever seen but today is was just a bit annoying really. I put her down so that I could go to the bathroom... wail fest. Put her down to play on the floor... bawl party. I put her down because she was crying while I was holding her... Holy terror!!! Seriously, I remember this phase with Kourtney and it was just as equally annoying... but Klo is better at it than Kourtney was. Kourtney and I don't really know how to "cute" our way out of things. Klo Bow gets that from her daddy. Splendid. *sigh* so it begins :)

It just goes to show... she really IS just like Kourtney in so many ways.

16 to go

Today is my Mama's birthday! Happy birthday Mom. Here's a special birthday gift to continue with our Down Syndrome Awareness month:

D: DARLING SOUL.
O: OBSERVANT AND PERSISTENT.
W: WISE AND WARM-HEARTED.
N: NOT TO BE UNDER-ESTIMATED.

S: SO SMILEY... A LOT OF THE TIME.
Y: YOUNG AT HEART FOREVER.
N: NORMAL: IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.
D: DOWNRIGHT HARD NOT TO LOVE.
R: RELAXED AND LAID BACK... FOR THE MOST PART.
O: ONLY BE KIND AND LOVE...
M: ME.
E: EVERYONE IS SOMEONE... EVEN ME.

Seven-Teen Left

To continue with our wonderful Down Syndrome Awareness month... go watch this video. It is so special. I am so glad that another friend posted it on her blog. I cried and cried because it was so much like my story. Not exactly... but similar. I hope that you enjoy. And sorry there are no pics today... we are not at home.

18 days left...

This month seems to be flying by right?!! Today, as we continue with wonderful Down Syndrome Awareness month, I want to address a comment that was made to me by a really nice stranger that I met in the mall when Klo was about 5 months old. This being Sunday I figure it is a perfect time to tackle something of the spiritual realm. This woman said to me (we were obviously discussing Klo), "well, at least she never needs to be baptized".  When I corrected her, she looked rather dumbfounded. So, I clarified... "Well, Jesus had to be baptized right? He was perfect. Baptism is a requirement for all... not just some."

I think it was really sweet of her to assume that Kloey is just automatically  perfect. I don't think that's the truth. Personally, I think that she is much closer than any of us already, but she is not perfect. Trust me, there is an attitude that is starting to form (secretly, I love that. It's hilarious). I have to believe that Kloey was sent to me to not only teach me but for me to teach her as well. I am going to teach Kloey everything that I have taught, will teach, and am teaching Kourtney. They may not get the same lessons at the same ages... but they will get the same lessons. Kloey will most definitely be baptized. She will most definitely receive all of the ordinances necessary in this life. Of course, assuming that my daughters choose it. We will teach her the meaning of life. We will teach her about our Savior, Jesus Christ. We will teach her that she has a Heavenly Father that loves her. We are teaching her these things already.

I will spend my whole life teaching my children. That is why they were sent to me... so that I could spend forever being their mother... in every sense of the word.

These two love watching Barbie. A special thanks to PaPa John for the TON of Barbie movies that he sent for Kourtney's birthday. Love you PaPa!!! (haha... that looks like Papa John, the pizza company.... but it's not. it's my daddy)

down to 19 more days...

So, I was looking through pics today and found some hidden treasures! YAY!!! It's like Christmas! (yes, I get excited about seemingly tiny things in life)

Pic below: Klo Bow with Grandpa Ken and Aunt Amanda... doin' what she does best... and that's chill. That's Grandpa's favorite thing to do too. They get along pretty well.

So, today I wanted to talk about support for mothers that have children with disabilities... shall we?

 When Kloey was born I felt really guilty about the feelings that I was experiencing regarding my baby and her diagnosis. Truth be told I felt as if my world was too heavy. The pressure was like a huge weight crushing me in on all sides. I was quite depressed honestly. And, that is completely normal. My family was very understanding, especially my mother. But, I didn't feel understanding from all people.
Below pic: a sleepy little Kloey Alice.

 Honestly, I just kept hearing things like, "oh how wonderful" from other parents of babies with down syndrome. Really? I know that's probably not how you reacted when you found out that your child has down syndrome. I know that is not how I reacted. I more like felt as if someone just sucker punched me and knocked the wind clear out of me. I mean, let's be real, wouldn't you?
Below pic: sleeping with arms wide open... my little angel

 Obviously, these are not my current feelings and emotions... just bear with me here. I wanted to vent out my anger and frustration. I wanted to cry. I wanted to bare my emotions to someone that would understand... someone that had been through that. But I was made to feel as if what I was feeling was wrong. (not by my family, as I mentioned before) By other mothers of "disabled" children. I just needed my feelings validated. I needed to know that I wasn't going crazy. I needed to know that it was okay that I felt this way.
But, I did not get that from other mothers. Luckily, my husband was always there. My mother was always there. And so many more people. I realized that other mothers were not seeming to be very REAL about what they went through. Perhaps it was guilt. Perhaps it was denial. Perhaps what I went through wasn't normal. But I believe that it was. I was preparing myself for another child. Kloey came instead. As bad as that may sound, it is the truth. Would I change this? NO. I would NOT. Because Kloey Alice Hansen is my daughter. She is a part of me. I know now that there is nothing to fear. I know now that my feelings were normal and completely justified. I know now that the bond that Kloey and I share is real, it is strong, and it is ETERNAL. I know that she was always mine. I know now that she was always the child that I was expecting... she just wasn't the child that I was ready to accept. I'm ready now. The acceptance came fairly quickly for me. I know that for some it is harder. And that is okay. The bond will come. The acceptance will come. The love is THERE! Be okay with your feelings. Let them run their course. Just don't let them invade who you are... and the love that you will ALWAYS have for your child.
I hope that this wasn't too hard for everyone. I just really needed to say it. I love my baby beyond belief. Just know that.
Below: Klo Bow after nursing... Oh, I miss that!

Wow... just Twenty more to go.

Down Syndrome Awareness month... I love it!

My dear friend Angie left a comment on my post from yesterday. She has given me permission to use her comment on my blog today... here goes.

"She is just ABSOLUTELY DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!!! This picture is FANTASTIC!! :) With down's I know that she is prone to more health problems mainly heart and GI...I was wondering if she's doing good in those aspects? I know her heart has gotten better, thank GOD! :) And I guess when I first met her I'll admit I was nervous to be around her, because even though I've worked with people with down's, I'd never been around a baby with down's. I was more scared to drop her than I was Kourtney!! And it might have just been because I was rusty on holding newborns, lol...but I remember feeling nervous to hold her. Nervous to hurt her. I almost didn't even want to touch her, because she looked so fragile. But then she smiled at me, and I was hooked! :)"

First, let me just say that Angie wasn't the only one that was a bit more nervous about Klo Bow. It was easy to be nervous about holding her for a very long time simply because her muscle tone was so low that it did make her feel very fragile. But once you learned that she wasn't quite that fragile... it got easier.

Second, yes a lot of children with Down Syndrome have heart and GI problems. Kloey was born with an ASD. That wouldn't require open heart surgery but there are others that would need it. Because I am no expert on medical issues and terminology... here is  a link to common health issues in children with Down Syndrome. 

I feel very blessed that Kloey has only had some minor forms of these health issues. Something that did happen when she was born was that she could not breathe well on her own. Her oxygen percentages were constantly at 50 and below when she was off of oxygen. Poor baby. Her blood was also extremely thick, a condition known as Polycythemia. It was very hard to get an I.V. into her as well. Here is a picture of our Klo Bow all hooked up. 

That was a very hard week for us.

21 more!!!

Have we been doing this for 11 days already?!!! FANTASTIC!!!

So, I want to know if anyone out there has any questions about Down Syndrome. As this is Down Syndrome Awareness month it only seems right to maybe answer a question or two... or seven from readers. It can be ANYTHING!!! So, leave a comment on here... or send me a message on facebook .

Today, let's focus on Klo Bow's sweet happiness. It's true, she is much happier than Kourtney was at her age... much happier.  She is so laid back that it makes me feel bad for being so high strung sometimes. Really, Kourtney and I are a lot alike in the fact that we can be pretty high maintenance, I'll admit it.  Heck, the child barely cried when she was born. She had more the attitude of... "Welp... I'm here. I'm with my mommy and daddy. It's a bit brighter than I expected. No use cryin'... can't change things." Yeah.... love this kid.

Now, let me clarify. Just because my Klo Bow is happy pretty much all of the time does not mean that all people/children with Down Syndrome are happy all of the time. (although, I've never come across one that wasn't unless they not only had Down Syndrome but something else as well) When Klo does cry it only lasts for about 30 seconds... not even that long. She was fussy yesterday though. And when I mean fussy I mean she was making a lot of small noises that other mothers would never dream of calling "fussy". But that is Kloey and I know her cues.  However, I had to keep telling her "no" and re-directing her when she wouldn't leave something alone the other day and she got thoroughly upset with me. She started crying and then banged her head into my chest out of frustration. Seriously, that hurt.

But, like I said, to say that all people with Down Syndrome are like this is probably not accurate. The simple truth is that every person in this world is an individual. They have their own spirit, their own personality, their own conscience. Down Syndrome is an extra chromosome... it's not defined as "an extra chromosome 21 that therefore creates clones throughout the world".... no, every person has their own personality... even those with Down Syndrome.

However, I do believe that the extra chromosome is an extra love chromosome. I've said in an earlier post that I've worked with Down's people for sooo long and they ALL seemed to possess extra love. Except one girl. She suffered from some mental illnesses (Down Syndrome is NOT a mental illness) that made her pretty unreachable. Anyway... What great teachers they have been for me of acceptance and love. My goodness... it's too bad that we don't all have an extra love chromosome... but we can fill that hole by spreading love and acceptance of ALL people.

Next time you're out and about, say hi to that woman that has Down Syndrome... Smile at the man in the wheel chair... Stand up for what is right... Put a little more love into your life and into the world!