Theme song....

If we could all have a theme song that we heard as we walked down the street... just blaring, declaring the fact that we're bad A. Well... here are some dear people and what I perceive to be their theme songs... :)

We'll start with my dear brother Justin. How I miss this kid. I say "kid" but that word doesn't technically apply to him anymore. He is much more than a kid... he is turning out to be quite the man! I'm so proud of this lil' bro of mine. Whenever I hear the song Fireflies...by Owl City... I think of him. And it makes me smile :)

Fireflies


Now on to my sweet sister Rachael... I say sweet... but she's rather sassy as well. This is a STRONG woman! Yet, she doesn't realize just how brave and great she really is. I love talking to my sister. We laugh.. we cry.. we share common insanity stories.. and we're sisters... what more do I have to say. I think of her when I hear this song... maybe I'll give her two :)

Jesus Take the Wheel

Set Fire to The Rain

Johnny... Oh Johnny-Son... Goodness I miss this boy. (again, he's now a man, not a boy) My baby brother has a baby of his own on the way. I am pretty sad that I won't be there when this bundle of joy joins our family. This song is your's.. it just reminds me of your attitude all the way... not to mention it's my favorite song to dance to .. and dancing always makes me think of you!

Im'ma Shine

Madre!!!! You have a theme song too... My love for music and dancing most definitely was influenced by my beautiful mother. This woman was blaring the Whitney Houston, Celine Dione, Gloria Estefan, Shania Twain, and her newest is the soundtrack to Mama Mia. Oh how I love this woman... this singing, dancing, laughing woman! Music is a HUGE part of my life. It wouldn't be in mine if it hadn't always been in your's!


Because You Loved Me

I'm just going to throw in a theme song for myself before we end here. Now, these are not the only people who are near and dear to me... they're just the ones that I have thought of theme songs for. This is what I would want people to think my theme song is... because I belt it out at random times in random places like I'm a castmember of Glee. Anyway, here it is.

Defying Gravity

And this... is for Jordan

Yeah...

Spring

SPRING IS HERE :)

Because...

We need a little more Kourtney Bear here...

Kourtney Loves:
being outside
her entourage of 5 very specific stuffed animals
TV
being tickled
making friends
eating cookies
graham crackers and milk
chocolate
swaddling and "burping" her baby dolls
saying, "shhh... my baby's asleeping"
Remember phrases..."Hey Mom, remember when we go outside and you play with me?"
Her Daddy
helping with her baby sister
dancing when Mommy sings
dressing up like a princess
making up her own songs

Kourtney hates:
bed time
anything that might be healthy for her
being told no
brushing her teeth
when Daddy teases her (and he is super good at that)
being made to think that she indeed is not the center of the universe
bugs
being put on the spot


This is my Kourtney. She will start school in the fall. I'm actually pretty thrilled about this. Sure, it is crazy to think that she is old enough for school already but I know that this will be really good for her. That's all I care about... what is best for her. She doesn't seem to realize that... in fact I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm out to get her 99.9% of the time. That's only the case 12% of the time ;)

World Down Syndrome Day

I know that I am a day late on this but I figure it's better late than never.
My daughter has Down Syndrome.
I knew before she was born... not because of a test but because I just knew.
The feeling scared me to death.
My pregnancy was clouded by this overwhelming fear of the unknown and also denial.
I felt detached from this child that I knew, for sure, would not be "normal".
Would she be made fun of?
Would she be pretty or not?
Would she speak normally?
Would she date?
Would she get married?

Could I love her?
Could I teach her?
Would I be embarrassed of her?
Would I be proud of her?

Would Kourtney love her?
Could they be best friends?

Many, Many things ran through my mind during that time. NOW... I realize how very little I actually knew.

She might be made fun of... and so will Kourtney.
She is pretty... BEAUTIFUL!!!
She will speak... she speaks now. I understand her "eyes" language, her "body" language, her "cry" language and her "smiley" language.
Maybe she'll date and maybe she won't... doesn't matter to me.

I LOVE THIS CHILD!!!! She can turn any bad day right around!!!!! Sometimes I want to shout from the roof tops, "MY BABY GIRL HAS DOWN SYNDROME!" and then do a jig just for good measure! I am more proud of this angel everyday!!! Her sister looooves her and so does her wonderful Daddy.

So... a child with Down Syndrome... well... it's not a whole lot different than a child without Down Syndrome. I just get to keep my baby for a whole lot longer.

Be Jealous :)

Weight...

loss I hope.
so... I don't know my exact weight b/c I have yet to purchase a scale. However, it is on my to do list.
I have added pilates to my workout every other day... it kicks my butt.
My main workouts are yoga and pilates with an occasional run thrown in there.
As far as diet... I have failed in that area for the past few days but I vow to get back on track... that's all I'll say about that.
Here's a pic for ya...

My 6 month old...3 month old

Does that make sense?
It certainly does in my mind.
And here is the reason... Kloey :)
My dear sweet Kloey is 6 months old... 6 MONTHS!!!
This is what she does:
-Holds her head pretty steady when held no lower than at the stomach.
-Blows raspberries aaalllll the time.
-Absolutely loves to smile!
-Sleeps for wonderfully long periods of time at night.
-Cries when she is hungry and tired... but only sometimes. Mostly she lets me know that she needs something but coo's. Be jealous 'cuz it's fantastic!
-While on her tummy she can lift her head off of the ground.
-She brings her hands together and thoroughly... and I do mean thoroughly... enjoys sucking and chewing on them.
-She will grab at toys occasionally.
-She's ticklish :)
-While she is nursing she will play with my face and hair and loves to explore the world with her eyes.
-She looks at you with soul searching eyes... quite literally. When she looks at you with that certain gaze then you know what kind of person you are and what kind of person you want to become.... it's a bit intimidating. Not gonna lie.
-She loves to scratch at things to feel the different textures.
-Her first tooth is coming in.
-Klo Bow loooves music!!!! It doesn't matter what I sing or how I sing it. Guaranteed it will put a smile on her face and she will start kicking and flailing. I LOVE it!!!!


Klo Bow is just a darling. As you can see she is at the level of about a 3 month old. That is why I say she is my 6 month old 3 month old... But I just love the rate at which she is growing. It's like I still have my newborn. She's not growing up in the blink of an eye. Kourtney grew up before I could say STOP! It is strange having to actually teach her all of the things that Kourtney just picked up and took off with.

Now, on a rather honest note... I still struggle at times. Now, don't get me wrong... I ADORE this baby! Sometimes when I look at her I struggle to see the child and not the Down Syndrome. Sometimes I still get sad and cry about it. Sometimes it all seems to be too overwhelming and difficult. Sometimes I wonder why she was sent to me... what makes me the best candidate for the job. Sometimes I am scared about what the future holds for her. Sometimes I feel like I'm in denial. Sometimes... most times... I feel so inadequate.

Even with all of that my love for her is always overflowing. I LOVE THIS BABY!!!! She is just darling and wonderful and amazing in every way!
To My Sweet Sweet Klo Bow:
You are wonderful!
You are kind!
You are loving!
You are adored!
You are beautiful!
You are smart!
You are important!
You MATTER!
You are strong!
You astound me!
You are so loved!
You have an impact on the world!
You are YOU!
Always be proud of who YOU are!!!

I love you my precious baby girl!

Motivation

(me at 120 lbs.)
Because that's what I need right... a bit of motivation dang it!
After I had Kourtney it took me about 9 months to get to my goal weight (125 lbs.) I got there and then it just kept coming off... all the way down to 110 lbs. at one point. I think that 110 is a bit small... so I'm shooting for 120 this time around. Sometimes the weight seems to be coming off but other times it seems that I'm at a stand still. I need motivation and determination... so I'm going to publicly humiliate myself... by documenting my weight loss... yep.
I am currently at 135 lbs.
I want to be at 120 lbs.
We have some work to do...